He returned
by Elliewelly1
Summary: It's been 30 years since Edward Cullen left, and Bella has her own family now, she's off to drop her grandkids off on their first day of high school, when her life changes..for good or for bad?
1. Forks high school

**Chapter song - What i wouldn't do (A fine frenzy)**

Ten years passed.

I knew Edward wasn't coming back.

I married Jacob. At twenty two, we had children.

They were twins. A girl and boy.

Alice, (who I _did_ name after my long lost vampire sister…), had Jacob's black hair and his dark eyes, with the right amount of tan in her skin. She was graceful, yet clumsy. Bold, yet shy. She was little for her age, yet not as little as _Alice _was.

Edward, (That one took a lot of persuasion with Jacob…), had Jacob's black hair, but he had my eyes perfectly copied out onto his face. He was tall for his age, but not tall enough. He was polite and smart, but not as much as my one-hundred years or so ex-boyfriend.

Yet they were every bit as beautiful.

Another ten years passed.

Time didn't matter to me anymore, my life felt unreal without Edward.

Three more years.

I watched my beautiful babies grow up into their teenage years.

Another ten years passed.

They grew up.

One year.

Me and Jacob left each other. Turns out Jacob hadn't imprinted on me at all, just a teenage crush.

Now I had two more holes left in me.

Oh well, it's not like I felt emotions anymore.

Two years.

My daughter had a beautiful son. She named him Emmett. Well, I persuaded her.

My son, my beautiful boy, had two darling little girls. Bella (after me…) and Alice, (after his sister.)

It pained me to know there were two girls out there who were sisters, called Bella and Alice, when it should be _me _and _Alice., _who were Sisters.

- Time passes, but I just sit and stare out my window.

_Ringggg Ringg._

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Nanny Bella? Hi, it's Bella. Well, um, Mummy and Uncle wanted me to ring you 'cause it's me and Alice's and Emmett's first day at high school and stuff. But um… Mum has work, Uncle said he cant take us either 'cause he has work…so mum wanted to know if you could drop us off there? I mean like, we can walk, if you want, it's just its cold, is all. Mum don't want us out in the cold. I mean, you don't have to-" Bella's voice creeped higher and higher.

"Bella! Don't worry, I'll take you. What school is it your all going to again?"

"Well, uh…we're all going forks high school. That's okay, right?" She asked.

Sudden emotions rippled through me. Forks.

"Sure, sure. I'm on my way."

"Okay, bye bye, I love you."

"Love you too…" I trailed off, grabbing my keys.

I took a quick look in the mirror. Man, was I a young Nan, I thought. Forty-seven years old and my grandchildren are already in high school?

I really ought to pay more attention to time.

I picked them up in my little Volvo- which I had bought just because Edward had had one.

Bella's blonde hair was scraped back into a ponytail, her brown eyes were just like mine. Her lips were covered in a little lip-gloss, her eyes a little mascara. Her cheeks were just like mine had been, constantly blushing. She wore some skinny jeans, black ugg's, a long sleeved white top, with a necklace I had bought her for her last birthday.

She was beautiful, and I was amazed when I figured out that it was because of _me _she was here. Because of _me _she was beautiful..

I looked at her sister Alice, who had jumped into the back seat.

Alice had my eye's too, with blonde hair as well. It was too short to be up in a ponytail, and it framed her face perfectly. She was wearing skinny jeans, purple converse, a multi-coloured top, with a plain black jacket. She wore heavy eye make-up, lip liner and foundation.

Of course, Alice was beautiful too.

She gave me a huge smile and leaned over the seat to peck me on the cheek.

"Hey Grandma!" She said enthusiastically.

"Someone's excited." I noted.

"Yep! I mean seriously, high school! I've been waiting for this all my life!" She cried.

"Mmmm, and this doesn't have anything to do with the boys?" I quizzed, raising one eyebrow.

She blushed, it seemed everyone had gained that gene from me.

"Of course not, silly!"

"Are you sure your mum lets you wear that much make-up?"

"Sure, sure." She said, waving one hand and looking out the window.

Bella looked at me, she was sitting beside me in the front of the car, she gave me a big smile and winked, then nodded in the way of Alice, I winked back.

I looked up in my wind mirror at Emmett. He had dark hair, and his grandpa's eyes, but my blush in his cheeks. He had one of those dark-handsome boy looks about him. He caught my eye and gave me a small smile. I smiled back.

Emmett wasn't like _Emmett _totally, but he was still boy-ish, with a love of video games, football and wrestling.

I switched the engine back on and drove to forks high school.

I took a deep breath as I turned onto forks high school grounds. Bella blushed and dipped her head when some of the boys grinned at her. Alice smiled and waved at a few of her friends, Emmett pulled a funny face at some boys.

A red car flashed past me, followed by a silver one, I slammed on the brakes.

Alice jumped out of the car and raced over to her friends, Emmett did too, as quick, over too his friends. Bella stayed by my side, watching me warily.

My gaze looked over to the cars instinctively, and the doors of the cars opened.

My mouth popped-open, as I watched the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. His head jerked up, and caught my eye.

The hole ripped open inside of me, and I gave out a low sob, as the love of my life stared back at me.

**A/N: I think i got bella's age wrong :/**


	2. He returned

**A/N: Umm, hello, before I said that Bella was forty-seven, Well I actually did the maths wrong and she's fifty-two... I don't know how old you have to be to go to high school in America, but in England your about 11/12. So these kids are about 12.**

**:] Ha-ha, I hope I got the maths right THIS time ;P**

**Chapter's song- The saltwater room (Owl City)**

xx

"Nanny?" Bella said.

I bit on my lip. Keep it together, I told myself.

"It's alright Bella, go on to school." I said, without looking at her.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Bella said.

I gasped.

"_Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jessica said._

"_Don't look at him." _

"_Okay." Jessica giggled._

Were they my exact words? I had been over 30 years I guess, just like Edward had said, my mind was like a sieve. I wasn't expected to remember everything.

"How do you know his name?" I asked Bella.

"Alice's friends were telling me about him. Apparently they're new here. I don't know, the only way I know is because they told me he has the oddest hair colour ever."

"It's beautiful." I sighed.

"He's….coming over here." Bella said, confused.

"It's okay, I know him through…friends. Go on, otherwise you'll be late."

Bella nodded and did as she was told. She shuffled across the parking lot and up the steps. She turned to look at me when she was at the steps and I gave her a thumbs-up. She smiled and walked inside.

I looked down at my hands, which were intertwined in my lap. I ran my thumbs together nervously.

I took a look at myself in the wind mirror. My hair was it's usual state, I had started dying it because of the grey that came through. My eyes were still-wide eyed. I didn't look very old, not a whole lot of wrinkles. Probably because my face was always set in its one state. Emotionless.

The car door clicked open, and someone white and cold got in next to me.

"Bella."

The way he said my name opened up all the raw emotions in me and I struggled to turn the car back on.

I spun around in the car and drove back home, as fast as possible.

He followed me into the house. I didn't look at him until I was sat on the sofa. Where the worst thing that could happen to me was cry. Not fall over, not crumple onto the floor. Just cry.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him.

Edwards golden eyes stared back at me.

"Nan?" He asked, copying Bella's voice perfectly.

"What are you doing back here? Isn't it too early?"

"No. Teachers retired, doctors retired…and, I wanted to see you again. But I didn't imagine you'd still be around Forks. I could only hope."

"Hope?" I cried. "Hope! What the HELL Edward? You HOPED you would see me? The girl who you left for worse? What? You wanted to see how much PAIN I was in? Do you get a kick out of all the pain!"

Edwards face crumpled up in an emotion I didn't remember.


	3. Dont say that

_Last time: "Hope?" I cried. "Hope! What the HELL Edward? You HOPED you would see me? The girl who you left for worse? What? You wanted to see how much PAIN I was in? Do you get a kick out of all the pain!"_

_Edwards face crumpled up in an emotion I didn't remember._

_*_

**Chapter song- Goodbye my almost lover (A fine frenzy)**

But it wasn't Edward who I was talking to.

"Oh, Bella." Carlisle sighed.

My eyes welled up in tears, and I couldn't stop them falling like buckets. I sobbed right there on the sofa. Suddenly Carlisle's arm was rubbing my shoulders, and I fought the urge to keep crying. I took a very _very _deep breath, and looked back up at Carlisle apologetically.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. It's just…I just, I-I-I…I don't know." My shoulders slumped and I put my head in my hands.

"It's okay Bella. It's okay." He soothed.

"I-Is Esme here?" I asked.

He sighed.

"She- I mean we- didn't know you were going to be here. I was dropping off Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie because I was on my way to the hospital. Then, suddenly Edward was distant, he wouldn't speak. We didn't know why. Until we spotted you, you still look like you, you don't look at day over forty. Your fifty, right? He wanted none of us to go over to you, but I saw what you looked like when you notice him and I just…I know there's nothing I can do. I cannot go back in time, I cannot stop what happened. But I just wanted to see you Bella. We've all missed you terribly."

He gave me a small smile of reassurance, my reaction bubbled to my lips, and I couldn't stop it from coming out.

"Carlisle, please, please don't say that. Okay, maybe _some _of you missed me, because _some _of you have feelings but…I know he didn't miss me, why else would he leave? He obviously hates me. He obviously never felt anything for me because otherwise he wouldn't have left. Carlisle you don't know how its been for me, so please, please. Don't say things like that."

I stood up and walked into my bathroom. My mascara wasn't waterproof, so I looked like an old, wrinkled, panda. I grabbed a make-up wipe, and dabbed at my eyes. What did it matter what I looked like anyway? I sighed and threw the wipe into my bathroom bin, looking back in the mirror I noticed that there was still mascara on my right eye. I picked up another wipe and dabbed at my right eye. I threw that wipe into my bathroom bin and walked back to my front room, where Carlisle was sat on the sofa looking like a Greek-god.

"You can go now, Carlisle." I said quietly, without looking in his eyes.

"Bella-" Carlisle began.

"No, Carlisle. _Please _just go. I spent _three years _waiting for him to come back, and I put my life on hold. When I finally learn to let go and have a family of my own, you all return. I cant do this Carlisle. I am _not that strong._"

Carlisle frowned but stood and walked out.

Just before he walked out the door I said;

"Tell Esme and Alice and Emmett hello, tell them I miss them. Tell Edward…that I love him."

Carlisle didn't reply, but I knew he'd heard.

**A/N: Sorry this one's so short, but that's just the way it is.**

**Thanksyou for the amazing reviews! If you have any questions, dont be afraid to ask. :) I update every 1-3 days (that's if i dont have a ton of homework thrown at me) So the next one should be up monday or tuesday? :) **

**Until next time, friends ;P **


	4. Charlie

**Chapter song - Hope for the hopeless (A fine frenzy)**

I spent the next few days hiding in my room.

Oh, yes, I did hear the knocks on my door. The cries of "Bella! It's Jacob, let me in!", I just didn't answer. I heard the rings of the phone, but I didn't even look over. I heard the _clunk_ as my post fell to my floor. I felt and heard my stomach rumbling in starvation, but I ignored it.

I laid curled up in a ball, staring out my window.

It was like he'd left me again.

Except for, I didn't have _Charlie_ anymore, or Jake.

I gave out a low sob as I remembered Charlie's last words.

_Victoria had come back for me._

_She was sat on my window ledge, smiling her evil smile. How had she got here? How had the werewolves not seen her?_

_Victoria smashed through my window and I shrieked in fright._

"_NO! Please! Don't! I don't matter to Edward anymore, there's no need to kill me!" I pleaded._

_Charlie ran into my room, he had obviously heard my shrieking. Crap, I thought, I forgot about Charlie._

_Charlie studied Victoria for about three seconds before pulling up his gun. She just smiled and grabbed it, then curled it into a ball. Then she grabbed Charlie and chucked him at the wall._

"_NO!" I shrieked, "Leave him alone! Take me! NO, Victoria!" _

_Charlie looked at me, dazed._

"_Victoria?" He asked, confused, then rubbed his head._

_Victoria just smirked. Suddenly, she was surrounded by about ten wolves, Jake one them, (he nudged me over to Charlie)._

_Victoria leapt out of my window, followed by the wolves._

_Charlie lay, gasping for air on the floor, clutching at his heart._

"_Ch-Dad? DAD!"_

_I grabbed his hand and knelt beside him, tears falling from my eyes. I put my hand over his heart, I could feel it thrumming underneath my fingers. I compared it to my own, and Charlie's was going a hell a lot faster._

"_I'm so sorry, dad." I sobbed. "This is all my fault."_

_He shook his head at me._

"_No. No, Dad. You don't understand. I should've never been with Edward, I should've taken his advice, this wouldn't be happening right now if I hadn't, if I hadn't gotten with Edward…James would never have started tracking me, Edward wouldn't have killed him, Victoria wouldn't be hunting me….Edward wouldn't have left so early."_

"_Bells, what are you… on about?" Charlie gasped for more air._

"_Shh, dad, Shh." I told him._

_I took a deep breath, as I decided to tell Charlie everything while he was on his death bed. I winced._

"_Edward was…not human. Look, dad, you saw Victoria. She's not human either. They're vampires. Don't say I'm crazy, you saw the wolves, like Jake, that's Jake and the La Push guys. They're wolves. Anyway, so, Edward and his family are vampires. Not normal ones though, they drink animal blood. Not human. My scent appealed to Edward more than anyone's, and he couldn't read my mind- yes, he could read minds, Jasper could control your mood, Alice saw the future- but…basically, you remember when Tyler nearly ran me over, right?" I asked._

_Charlie nodded, wide-eyed, and panting._

"_Edward ran over and saved me. They had super strength, sight, smell, super everything. They didn't sleep, eat or rest. They didn't go out in the sun, because they sparkled. He was beautiful…" I lost my train of thought, "It was like little diamonds, so beautiful…"_

"_So, beautiful." I whispered._

_I took another deep breath and looked at Charlie again, still holding his hand._

"_When we went to play baseball. Well, rather the -Vampires did. Three other vampires came across us, not the animal-blood-drinking kind. They hunted humans. To cut a long story short one of them wanted my blood, and Edward saved me. When I disappeared for three days, when I 'broke up' with Edward, I really was running away with Alice and Jasper. While the others hunted James. He tricked me though, said he had mum, and so I went after him. He attacked me, but just in time Edward came in and went crazy and….killed him. James bit me though, so the vampire venom spread through me, Edward sucked it all out in time though, that's why I'm still human. Later we found out Victoria was his mate, and now she's come to kill me. But she's…killing you…instead…" _

_Charlie wasn't wide-eyed anymore, he was frowning. I suddenly felt the need to tell him __**everything**_**.**

"_That's why Edward left, I wanted to be a vampire. To be with him forever. He told me he was bad for me, he told me he would never take my life. But when he left, he told me I was bad for him, so I had no argument. I know he'll be back in forks one day, and I'll be here, waiting. Just so I can see him one last time. I need him though, he protected me, he-"_

"_He's perfect for you, Bells." Charlie interrupted._

_I stared at Charlie. Then we both smiled. Charlie wheezed and coughed. He sunk a little lower to the ground. A few moments later, his hand had no more strength in it. _

_Charlie died._


	5. Dealing with Emmett and a realisation

**Chapter song- Vanilla twilight**

_The silence isn't so bad,_

_Till I look at my hands and feel sad,_

_Cause the spaces in between my fingers,_

_Are right where your's fit __**perfectly.**_

*

Loud banging on the door woke me from my dreams.

"BELLA! OPEN THIS DAM DOOR NOW!" Jacob cried.

I sighed. It had been a week. I might as well go back to the world. The cold, cruel, harsh world. The world where i didnt belong. The world which had pushed me out and beaten me too many times. The realt world. The place I didnt want to go.

Stiffly, I stood up and opened the front door. Jacob towered over me, red-faced and trembling.

"Whoa, Jake. Calm. Breathe." I soothed.

"While you were wallowing away, in self-pity. I have had to deal with our grandson, because if you don't remember, " Jacob sneered, "When vampires are around, wolves come out."

I gasped and held one hand over my fluttering hand. Emmett? A _wolf?_

Jake grabbed my wrist and stalked off to his car, me stumbling behind him. Still in shock.

_My _Emmett, _My _Grandson, a wolf?

I couldn't help the tears that fell. I had hoped, that if the Cullen's ever returned, and if I was strong enough, that I would be able to maybe introduce my family to them. To Edward. Show him what he was missing out on. My love. To make him jealous.

Then I hoped maybe they would all be friends.

Now they were mortal enemies.

I started shaking uncontrollably. Jake watched me out of the corner out of his eye, and eventually he calmed down.

"It's okay Bella. No worries. Things will be fine."

"You said you had to _deal _with him."

"He thought he was going crazy, especially when all the voices were in his head…"

I sighed in understanding. He hadn't run away.

"He's okay now, though?"

Jake shrugged.

I could tell he was keeping something from me.

"Nanny!" Alice exploded when I walked into my daughter's house.

Alice jumped up and spilled over the juice she had in her hand (which she must've forgotten she had), which went all over Bella. Bella groaned and called for her dad.

"Oops." Alice giggled.

I rolled my eyes at them. Alice went silent and so did Bella as I did this.

"What?" I asked.

Alice leaned her head to one side.

"You look like dad when you do that." Alice mumbled.

"Correction, your dad looks like me when I do that."

Alice frowned.

"There's something more to it… I don't know what it is."

What? Everyone was going freaky-weird on me now.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked.

"Up here." Jacob said, pointing to the stairs.

I followed him up the stairs, taking each step slowly than I would have when I was younger, my knees clicked every time I went up one step. Which was why I was glad I lived alone, its embarrassing hearing your knees click when your walking up stairs.

Emmett's bedroom door was closed and I could hear quiet whispers. Jacob opened the door slowly to reveal Alice (My daughter), Edward (My son), Jessica (Jacobs…wife), and Emmett, all sitting in a circle on the bed.

"Dad, mum." Alice and Edward said at the same time.

"Jake! Oh, Bella, hello."

Jessica didn't really like me much. I think it was because Jacob had imprinted two years before he broke up with me, because he thought I would find it tough, so she had to wait for him for two years. Then I just let Jacob go like he's nothing. Hmm, maybe I should think about my actions next time…

Next time?

"Emmett, how are ya little buddy?" Jake asked, ruffling Emmett's dark hair.

He just shrugged.

Nervously, I sat down next to Emmett on the right. He looked up at me and gave me a small smile. I returned it.

"Your special." I said, my voice coated with pride.

Emmett snorted, others laughed. I raised one eyebrow and they all fell silent, like Alice and Bella had when I had rolled my eyes.

"What?" I asked them.

"You look just like Edward Cullen when you do that." Emmett stated.

I had trouble closing my mouth. I forgot to breathe. My children, grandchild and Jake looked at me warily at the name of Edward Cullen.

I hadn't realised I had taken some of Edwards old habits. The eyebrow raising, the eye rolling…what next?

Then I realised something I should have realised a long time ago.

I wanted to scream it out loud;

_**Edward Cullen, my love, I've found you, I've found where you went when you left. No, you didn't leave. I've only just found you.**_

Right where he had always been.

In my heart.

**A/N: I promise you a happy Bella-Edward ending, I have it all figured out. Don't give up on me! I don't know if you understand the last part of this? Let me know what you think! Dont be afraid, i dont bite! (I wish i do though..)**

**Oh, and if anyone knows where I put my glasses, can they tell me please? (Yeah.. I lost my glasses, I'm in troubleee…)**


	6. AN: SONG FOR BELLA :

**A/N: I just HAD to post this song, it's one of my favourites by "a fine frenzy", you should check her out. It's called 'Elements' and I think it's exactly how Bella feels when Carlisle visits her and she realises the Cullen's are back : ) **

**Here's the lyrics;**

_**You show up like a hurricane,**__**all hungry-eyed and weather-stained**_

_**The clock forgets to tick and I the same **_

_**I died the day you disappeared, so why would you be welcome here?**_

_**Ride the wind that brought you back away.**_

_**No you can't come in**_

_**No you can't come in**_

_**I cannot stop my rebel hands from pulling out the pots and pans**_

_** I left you in the cold until you shook**_

_**You're gentle now, but I recall, Both tender fire and bitter squall,A history so deep it hurts to look.**_

_**No you can't come in**_

_**No you can't come in**_

_**No you can't **_

_**You can't come in**_

_**If the sea should swallow up my house, I will turn my rooftop inside out and the wind will be wailing**_

_**But I will be sailing faster.**_

_**Oh the elements I do not fear,**_

_** but I fall apart when you appear **_

_**Cos you are the greatest**_

_**The greatest disaster**_

_**If the sea should swallow up my house, I will turn my rooftop inside out and the wind will be wailingBut I will be sailing faster**_

**_A/N: NEXT CHAPTER SHOULD BE UP SOON :D_**


	7. He didnt know about the love of my life

**Chapter song- Swan song (A fine frenzy)/ What I wouldn't do (A fine frenzy)**

_**If we were children,**_

_**I would bake you a mud pie,**_

_**Warm and brown beneath the sun. **_

_**X**_

"Oh…" I mumbled.

Emmett didn't know to be careful about Edward and the rest of the Cullen's when around me. Like Jake did. My daughter and son knew, it had all come out one night when they asked who they were named after…

Emmett gave me a small smile.

"He's who started this. He wouldn't stop _looking _at me, or Alice…or Bella. Especially Bella. He was really getting on my nerves. Like he _loved _us or something, he wouldn't leave us alone, and I just got so angry. Suddenly his eyes were so big and then suddenly we were alone in the woods…I just, exploded. Right into this huge beast. Edward ran off. I think he knew I was going to, I mean like…Of course, he knows about wolves, it's just like he knew I was going to turn into one right there. Oh! Wait crap! Err, Nan, well Edwards sort-of a vamp-"

"He can read minds. He read yours, saw you were angry. He was protecting you from phasing in public." I interrupted.

Emmett's eyes bulged over.

"I know because of your Granddad. I know Edward is a vampire."

It was a lie. They all knew it. Emmett gave me a questioning look, but let it go. My son rubbed my shoulder soothingly and I struggled to stop from crying. Don't cry, I told myself, you haven't cried in over thirty years, since he left, no point starting now.

But I've found him, I argued, In my heart. He's even back in forks now.

My stomach growled. I ignored it, I had learned to ignore my needs.

"Your hungry." Emmett stated. "Go eat."

I shook my head.

"No, I'm okay."

"C'mon Nan, go-"

"I said I'm OKAY!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air.

Emmett frowned at me.

"GOD! What is it with you people? Why cant you just let me friggin' be!?"

I stalked out the room, hopped into my car, sped home, and cried.

I wasn't crying because of Edward this time though. I was crying because I knew I had overreacted, and taken it all out on Emmett when he was going through enough already. He was only twelve for goodness sake!

He didn't know about the love of my life.

He didn't know about the love of my life who left me.

He didn't know about the love of my life who never loved me.

He didn't know about the love of my life who was still in my heart.

He didn't know about the love of my life who I still love.

He didn't know about the love of my life who broke me.

He didn't know about the love of my life who completed me.

He didn't know about the love of my life who had saved me.

He didn't know about the love of my life.

He didn't know about me at all.

**A/N: Ah my god! Thanks for all the amazing reviews! I love you all so much for them! I try to get these up as soon as I can for you guys, your amazing! Hope this one doesn't down your spirit! (Cause sometimes I write really crap ones, Haha) **

**Until next time! **


	8. Bella

**Chapter song- Undecided at the moment :(**

**I** decided to phone him. I apologized and told him I was being stupid. Emmett said it was okay, and it wasn't my fault Edward Cullen was a jerk. They must've told him and me and Edward, because he didn't want me to pick him up in the morning for school, which I had offered to do. Instead he just said;

"No offence Nan, but I don't especially want to be in a car with someone who's like…ugh, totally made out with a bloodsucker."

Then he hung up, without giving me time to even register what he'd said.

I had no contact from my family for the next few weeks. My mood started slipping towards depression again. Jake and Charlie and the rest of my family had gotten me out of that. Now they were all gone.

The first one to contact me was Bella. There was a timid rap on my door a few weeks later. I was sipping on a hot chocolate, huddled up in a blanket.

Slowly, I walked over to the door and opened the door. Bella stood looking awkward outside.

She wore her lovely blonde hair down in it's natural wavy way, her large brown eyes were staring intently at me, outlined with mascara. She was blushing and she was biting down on her pink-lip-gloss-covered lips. She had and array of colourful bracelets on, with a plain white top and black cardigan. Multi-coloured converse (which I had bought her for her last birthday), and black skinny jeans. With a purple shoulder bag to complete it.

I smiled at her. She was the first person to contact me since my outburst and my secret had gotten out.

I gestured for her to come in and she stepped in awkwardly to the hallway. She followed me into the living room and flopped down onto the sofa.

She took and deep breath.

"Nanny, _I'm _not mad at you."

I sat down next to her.

"You love him. Even if you knew he was dangerous, you were still with him, even though it put your life at risk, you were still with him. And I know I'm not wrong when I say that's love. Who cares what someone is? Jessica loves Granddad even though he's a wolf, and he's a 'monster' too, isn't he? We all love Emmett too, even though he's a 'monster'. They're so biased they don't see how much you really love him. He must've really loved you too…"

So even Bella knew now.

I stroked her hair and she snuggled into my shoulder.

"He didn't love me though, Bella. That's why he left me." I explained.

"He left you to protect you, Nan." She said matter-of-factly.

"Silly, Bella." I mumbled.

"Honestly, Nan. He did. He wouldn't pretend to like you. He would've gone for a much much more prettier girl if he wanted to pretend. Not that I'm saying your not pretty it's just…and after everything I mean, you think he'd save you from James if he didn't love you? You think he'd take it when granddad Charlie had a go at him all those times? Because he wanted to pretend? No, no nanny he loved you. He loved you enough to let you go. He wanted you to have a normal life, he didn't want you to have to suffer and be a vampire."

Suddenly everything made sense.

Bella watched me as I sat there and took everything in, figured it all out, as it all fit into place. But why would Edward say he didn't love me? Why would he say I'm no good for him? Because he loved me? _NO, stupid. _A voice in my head said, _Because it's the only way you would let him go._

I sighed, memories flooding back. The kisses, his skin in the sun, the meadow, his family…

Bella smiled.

"OH and by the way, I think it's sweet how you named your son and daughter after your two favourite people. Then your grandson your third."

"Bella Esme Black, you're my favourite person right now." I said, gripping her into a tight hug.

She hugged me tightly.

"Esme…" She whispered, "Where did you get that one from?"

"Edwards mother." I explained, "The sweetest and most kindest person in the world. Just like you. I knew it fit you perfectly."

She grinned up at me.

"Alice Mary?"

"Mary was Alice's real name."

"Emmett Charlie Carlisle?"

"My dad, and Edwards father. The kindest and most human vampire you'll ever meet."

"I want to meet them." She announced.

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and the messages! Promise the next one'll be up tomorrow if i have time :] **


	9. Plan

Chapter song - Last of Days (A fine frenzy)

I drove Bella to school the next day. She said Emmett didn't want to go near me and Alice wasn't allowed, Alice mostly did what her dad thought was best for her, Bella had her own opinions though. She jumped in the little silver Volvo, ready and awake. Her hair was down and wavy again, wearing the same amount of mascara and lip gloss as before. She wore a three quarter grey and white top with a pattern on it with jeggings, and grey pumps, with the same purple shoulder bag she wore yesterday. She caught me looking at it.

"Mum got me it." She said, softly.

I smiled and kissed her forehead.

Alice and Bella's mum (And my sons fiancée at that), had died two years back, she had suffered from lung cancer. Her parents had been heavy smokers and this had affected her. Bella had held her hand every step of the way, always telling her she loved her, and she was proud of her. Edward would always hug her and tell her everything would be alright and that she would get better soon. Alice…Oh, Alice. I sighed. She had been so torn up about it she refused to speak, eat, or drink. Until her mum had a quiet word with her, and Alice had gone back to normal again. She cried, and Bella held her and kissed her cheeks and told her it was okay to cry, Bella was her hero.

Their mum died, with Bella and Alice and Edward at her side. Bella and Alice holding either hand, Edward with his arm around her shoulders. She fell asleep, and never woke up again.

I switched the car engine back on and drove away. I caught a glimpse of Alice looking out the window bleary-eyed and waving at me. I didn't have enough time to wave back.

"Alice _really _misses you, you know." Bella told me.

I nodded. "I really miss her too."

Bella went quiet.

"Emmett, feels differently though."

I nodded. "I know."

She gave up, and looked out the window. We had it planned, I was to talk to Edward. It was a rainy day, so he would be in school. There was no way he could run away from me in a public place, no way he could threaten or harm me. There was no way he was getting away.

I suddenly felt as nervous as I had on the night of my eighteenth birthday.

"He will be there, you know." Bella said, as if she could read my mind.

Then I had an errant thought that I hadn't thought of. ALICE! Dam, and this plan was going to go well as well!

"Bella! What about Alice?"

"What about her?"

"She see's the future. She's going to see me coming!"

Bella laughed and I looked at her from the corner of my eyes sneakily.

"I thought about that too. But, well, I might have the wolf gene right? Well, I'm related to one at that. My bond is strong. They told me she couldn't see the wolves. So if they're there, we'll know she cant see my future, and as my future is mingled with yours, there's no way she can see you!"

"But Bella." I whined, "Your not a wolf!"

"Ah, but I could be. I just don't get angry, do I? remember Leah? Sure you do. She was a girl, she was angry, and hazzuh! Wolf it is. I just try extra hard not to get angry."

"But you still might not be." I muttered, childishly.

As I pulled into forks high school, I saw the little silver Volvo standing out, sitting next to Rosalie's red…whatever the cars called.

Nobody was parked next to them. I took this as an advantage.

I pulled up next to Edward's Volvo, surprised he hadn't got a new car, and turned to engine off of mine. I turned to my right, which was the side Edwards car was on.

I turned, and I saw Alice sigh in relief. Something in Edwards eyes flickered, and then his face went as hard as stone.

"Bella." I said, turning to her, "Why don't you go on to school? I'll call you later." Then winked.

She grinned, and then gave me a gentle hug. She shuffled out of the car and walked up to a group of girls.

"I want to speak to you." I said, knowing they would hear. "Both of you, I don't care. _Please." _

Alice happily jumped out of Edwards car, Jasper watching her protectively, and hopped into the seat which Bella had just been sitting in. I looked at her golden eyes, not sure what to do. Had Alice changed? Did she love me?

"Bella!" Alice cried happily.

Then she reached over and hugged me tightly, yet carefully, she knew I was more fragile in my old age. I hugged back, inhaling her scent. Remembering.

I heard the _whoosh_ of the wind, and suddenly Edward was sitting in the back of the car. With one of the windows rolled down. Oh, right, my scent.

"Your future disappeared last night. I was worried." Alice told me, capturing my attention.

"So Bella _is _going to be a wolf."

I sighed. When? Would she be happy?

"Bella? Who's that? The girl who was just in your car?"

"Yeah. She's my granddaughter."

Alice looked surprised. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Edwards face crumple in sadness. Then he composed himself when he saw me looking. Alice tilted her head to the side and studied my face. Instinctively, I sorted out my hair and wondered if something was on my face.

"Granddaughter huh." She said.

"Yeah. Edward already met my grandson."

Alice shot a look at Edward and Edward nodded.

"But, I didn't see that." Alice moaned.

"Jacob." I said.

Alice looked at me and gave me a questioning look.

"Jacob was a wolf. We had kids, they had kids, but cause you weren't here there were no wolfs. You come back, and they come back. Emmett being one of them."

"_Emmett?" _Alice said, incredulously.

I smiled at her.

"My daughter was named Alice Mary Black, her twin brother Edward Black."- Alice grinned at this, Edward moaned- "Alice had a son, and I persuaded her to call him Emmett Charlie Carlisle King, King being her husbands name. Edward had two daughters. Alice Mary, after his sister, and Bella Esme, after me…and I got him to add the Esme bit." I explained.

"What's your granddaughter, Alice, like?" Alice asked, suddenly keen.

"She's nice. She's not allowed to see me at the moment because…"

I stopped and frowned. No, I couldn't tell them. But I wouldn't lie either. Hopefully they just wouldn't ask.

"Anyway, she's lovely. She has long blonde hair that she loves people to do for her, she wears the latest trends and would kill to go shopping, she's loving, overexcited, shy, bold and outgoing. She has my eyes. They all do, except my _daughter _Alice and Emmett."

Alice's eyes gleamed over. I could tell exactly what she was thinking, a new shopping partner.

"Why aren't you speaking?" She asked.

I gulped. This would've been so much better if Edward wasn't here. Oh wait, was he here anymore. I glanced over to the back seat. Yes, Yes he was still here.

"They, They all- They…"

"They all know about…"

I couldn't bring myself to find the words.

"About what?"

I frowned.

"About…about…me and.."

I inhaled deeply.

"I lost it with Emmett because when you guys came back…and Carlisle came to visit me and it was all a rush, so I hid in my room for a week, then I find out my grandson is a werewolf and I haven't eaten, or drank and I had hardly any sleep. I could only think about the bad things in my life. Then he tells me to go eat and I just…flip! Jacob must've told them I was going through a bad time…"

"They aren't speaking to you because you know us?"

Alice's voice sounded pained and sad.

"No. They aren't speaking to me because now they all know about me and Edward."

Alice's eyes widened a little. Edward's fist curled up into balls and he gripped onto the leather seats. He growled a little and I knew Alice and him must have been having a private conversation, because, slowly, Edward released his grip on my seats.

"I'm sorry." I said, sourly, to Edward, "It's totally my fault we fell in love."

I caught Edwards eyes, golden and enchanting they were. I forgot to breathe. I forgot all time and space. It was just me and Edward. I was eighteen again, and in a minute he would wrap his cool, marble, arms around me.

"Bella, though? Bella is allowed to see you?" Alice asked, breaking my trance.

My eyes flickered back to her.

"Bella has her own opinions. She will do whatever she thinks is right. She is one of the most wonderful people I had _ever _met. She has suffered so much yet she still stands strong, she is the perfect example for anyone. She is perfect, and I didn't think that possible. She's my rock. The only thing in this world that I have been given, that's still with me." I told her, my voice smothered in motherly protectiveness.

"She sounds like a sweet kid." Alice complimented.

"Yeah. She is. She's perfect."

"There's something more, Bella. What are you hiding?"

"Well, Bella sort-of wants to get to know you, she wants to meet you. All of you."


	10. Because

**A/N: Sorry this one is like, super short, it was just a filler to get across how Bella feels...well, actually she never finished the sentence..Because? :) **

**Haha, anyway, that was sort-of sneakylike of me, right? Yay!**

**Keep reviewing! It makes me happy! I like being happy :D**

**Chapter song - Blow away (A fine frenzy) [As you can tell i have an obsession with her, but her songs just fit bella perfect, arhh!]**

Edwards grip on the seats was tight again. Alice smiled warmly.

"But Bella, what's the point?"

"The point is," I explained, "That Bella has a right to do what she wants, and if that's what she want's then she can."

"I didn't see this. Why?" Alice asked.

"Like I said before, she's probably has the wolf gene."

Alice nodded. Wide-eyed. I looked at Edward and he just shrugged at me.

"You knew." I accused.

"I didn't know, I just assumed."

I gritted my teeth. I didn't want this for Bella, she shouldn't be a part of the supernatural world, she makes out she's strong but I know she isn't really.

"Still. You could've told me."

He barked a laugh.

"Tell you? This is the first _'chat' _we've had in over thirty years Bella! You expect me to just come up to you and tell you that I think your granddaughter is a dog?"

"No! Actually Edward, I expected you to _leave._ If not, I expected you to _talk _to me!" I cried.

"Why would I want to talk to _you!_"

"Because-"

Alice gasped and switched the car on, distracting me and Edward. I looked back at Edward, his flat, honey-coloured eyes were transfixed on me. Something flickered in his eyes, and he grimaced, his eyebrows furrowing. Yet he didn't take his look off of me the whole way of Alice driving. Not once. Not even when Alice called his name using her high bell voice.

I didn't realise where we were until we were on the long-winding road.

"Where- Where are you taking me?" I asked.

Edward still didn't look away.

"We don't know where your house is." He explained, softly.

"_NO!" _I cried.

He frowned.

"I cant do this. NO! Let me out of here!" I cried, scrambling to open the door.

Edwards white, cool, hand flashed across and closed it, his eyes still on me.

"I cant see them all again. I'm only doing this, for Bella. I'm _not _strong enough."

Alice sighed Edwards name as Edward when to say something. Edward was silent for some time, then leaned away from me. His eyes still on me.

"Honestly, Bella, if you want your granddaughter to meet us, you have to be with her, right?" Edward soothed.

I nodded numbly.

Edward sighed and patted my mangled hair. I blushed when my heart raced at the touch, and the electricity coursed through my body.

"I'll ring her. She can come after school."

"How will she get here?" Alice asked, impatiently.

I didn't take my eyes off Edward. I looked right into his lifeless eyes and said;

"I can drive. She _has_ to meet you."


	11. Meeting the Cullens

**Chapter song- Swan song (A fine frenzy) **

**A/N: Sorry for no update yesterday! Forgot to take my good ol' lappytop to my dads house :) I hope this makes up for the wait!**

I refused to go into their house.

"No, and make sure none of them come out here. I don't…I cant."

Edward refused to leave my side. We sat in silence, yet the silence was full of unanswered questions, and the silence was also full of our memories. The silence was not awkward. The silence was beautiful, mesmerising, as I remembered all the times me and Edward had.

Bella rang me at precisely 3:10pm.

"Nanny? What happened while I was in school?"

"I'm coming to pick you up." I said plainly.

"Okay! Love you!"

I hung up the phone. I didn't want to promise my love to her. I didn't want to hear her promises of love because I knew one day, she would hate me. I didn't know why, but I had a funny feeling in my stomach that something or someone would change our relationship.

Edward didn't get out of the car.

So, I turned up to my granddaughters school, with my ex-boyfriend in my car. Excellent.

Bella grinned at him and her eyes light up, I panicked, no, please, no. Please don't fall in love with Edward Cullen like I mistakenly did! But, her eyes were on me…so that couldn't be.

"Hi Nanny!" Bella cried, getting into the back of the car, "Hi Edward."

Edward smiled at her. I knew that smile, a fake, plastic smile. That thirty years back, I would've believed a genuine one. I noticed Edward was different. Lifeless. He didn't smile, his eyes were empty, he hardly spoke, unless it was to me…

Did he still love me too?

I switched on the car and drove to the Cullen's. I hadn't taken in the house before, afraid to look, in case I saw someone staring out the window. I don't know, I just didn't. I gasped when I saw it. Still standing, perfectly. The place which had ruined everything I had had with Edward. The place where Edward had decided we shouldn't be together any longer. This was the place where I died inside.

I hadn't realised I had just been staring open-mouthed, like a goldfish, until Edward cleared his throat. I looked at him automatically and I caught an emotion flicker in his eye.

"Are you ready?" He asked, looking at me, then reluctantly to Bella.

Bella grinned and nodded. I didn't answer. My face was it's usual state again, emotionless. All I felt now was numbness, tingling in my toes, and burning in my heart. I guess I was sad too, but I had been sad for so many years, that I never felt it anymore. It was just numbness.

Edward, slowly, got out of the car and Bella jumped out happily. She was literally dancing with excitement, which was odd for her. Usually she was awkward, blushing, and content. She usually didn't buzz with excitement.

_Please._ Please don't be in love.

I sighed, and got out after them, the slowest.

I shuffled my way over to their house, Edward opened the door for me and Bella in his gentlemanly way and when I looked at him to say thanks, his eyes were suddenly buzzing with excitement, and he was _smiling._

I raised one eyebrow at him and he shook his head. I turned around again and Bella was watching us, intensely. I looked over her shoulder and saw six pairs of golden eyes.

Jasper had his arms round Alice's waist and Alice was leaned against his chest, watching me with light up eyes. I looked into Jaspers eyes and I saw the sorrow and guilt in his eyes. It was so overpowering that I struggled to not cry, right there, right then…

I blinked and looked away. My eyes next met Rosalie's. She smiled at me tentatively, and I struggled to compose my face when shock covered my face. She was still as beautiful as she had been, and my self-esteem hit an all time low. I was sure I hadn't even looked as half as pretty as her even when I was younger. I gave her a small smile and looked at Emmett, who was holding her hand. He gave me a huge grin and jogged over to me.

"Hey Bella!" He cried, gripping me into a air-tight hug, which was also careful at the same time.

"Emmett!"

He whirled me around in the air which made me feel a little bit sick, yet I smiled at Emmett. There was no change here, he was still the fun-loving, carefree, playful vampire he had always been.

He set me down on the ground and looked at Bella.

"Hey Bella Junior!" He cried, holding up his hand for a high five.

Bella jumped up at the high five and smiled at him.

"Hey Emmett!" She grinned.

I smiled. One vampire down.

I turned and saw Carlisle and Esme, standing far away, afraid to be near me probably. Or maybe scared to scare Bella. Whichever.

Esme's eyes were full of love. She stared at me with longing, and I stumbled over to her and flung myself into her arms. She wrapped her smooth, marble arms around me and I hugged her tightly.

"Oh, Bella. I've missed you so."

"I've missed you too, Esme."

I took a deep breath, and then pulled away, looking at Carlisle.

"I'm sorry about before, Carlisle. I was…shocked."

I bit on my lip and he laughed.

"It's okay Bella. Anyone would be."

I smiled at him and called for Bella 'Junior';

"Bella, there's someone I want you to meet."

She skipped lightly over to my side, after having a brief talk with Emmett. She stood by me and looked at Carlisle and Esme shyly.

"Bella, this is Esme." I said, gesturing towards Esme.

She grinned.

"Hi Esme. I'm named after you, you know. Bella Esme, is my full name. I couldn't wait to meet you, finally."

I smiled. Two vampires down.

I blushed. And Esme looked at me with admiration, smiling evermore. There seemed to be a lot of smiling here. She held out her arms and Bella fit snugly into them, grinning.

"Thank you, Bella."

I wasn't sure whether she was talking to me or my granddaughter, so I didn't smile. Bella pulled away from Esme's arms and looked at Carlisle knowingly.

"You must be Carlisle. Edwards father. Bella named my cousin after you. Well, she named him Emmett Charlie Carlisle, but you get the picture."

Carlisle smiled at both me and Bella and held a hand out to Bella.

"Nice to meet you, Bella."

I smiled. Three vampires down.

Emmett bounded over to me.

"You named your grandson after me?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"What are your children called?"

"Alice Mary Black, and Edward Black. Edward had Bella Esme, and Alice Mary. Alice had Emmett Charlie Carlisle." I explained.

Emmett grinned and gave me another hug.

"Where are they?"

"Um…I'll explain later?"

He nodded and gestured for Rosalie to come over. She did. In her own, graceful way. I was sure Bella had noticed this. Even big, burly Emmett was graceful. Which was funny.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Rosalie."

I smiled. Four vampires down.

She held out her hand and Bella took it shyly. Bella didn't know about Rosalie. She didnt know Jasper either. Suddenly I was hit with a wave of guilt. I had forgotten Jasper. Or maybe, I chose not to sub-consiously. Maybe, I did blame him for Edward leave him. If he hadnt have attacked me on my eighteenth birthday...

No, i didnt believe that. If i hadnt been so clumsy he wouldnt have attacked me, that was my fault. It was my fault he left. Stupid, clumsy, me.

Alice skipped over to Rosalie's side.

"Hi, Bella Junior. My name's Alice." She said, giving her an excited hug. "This is Jasper," She said, gesturing to Jasper who was standing on the other side of the room. "It's okay Jasper. You wont hurt her."

"You cant know that." Bella said smugly.

I smiled. Five vampires down.

Alice turned back to her.

"what?" She questioned.

"I have the wolf gene, well I guess so. Hasn't Bella's future disappeared because I'm involved? And you cant see mine?"

"Oh. Yeah. That's annoying." Alice huffed.

Jasper shuffled over, closer, and Alice grabbed his hand and pulled him over.

"Hello." Jasper said to Bella.

Bella smiled, "Hi, Jasper."

I smiled. Six vampires down.

"Of course, you already know Edward." Alice said.

Bella nodded.

Where was Edward, anyway?

Edwards eyes flashed over to mine.

Suddenly he ran over to me, grabbed me around the waist and pushed Bella away. I screamed and all the vampires stared at him in shock. I myself, was watching Bella. As she screamed in what seemed like anger.

Then she exploded.


	12. My Wolf Bella

**Chapter Song- Naturally (Selena Gomez)**

**A/N: Hey Hey!Thanks for the reviews you have no idea how happy they make me, i wasnt expecting so many! I wasnt even expecting to actually be planning on finishing this, i thought everyone would think of it crap and just...ignore it ;D So umm, thankyou so much, and i hope you like this :) it took me a while to write because i wasnt sure what to make Edward be like without him being cheesy. If you get what i mean? :) **

*****

In Bella's place was a huge bronze-coloured wolf.

The wolf bared it's teeth at Edward as he pulled me behind him, and stood in front of me. I peeked around his shoulder and saw and heard the wolf snarl. Yet it didn't attack Edward. It just snarled, and then fell flat out on the floor.

I nearly gasped, I thought the wolf had died, but it opened one eye and looked at me. It's warm chocolate brown eye, the same as mine.

That eye reminded me that it was _Bella._

"Bella!" I cried, running over to her.

Edward caught my wrist.

"Leave her." He murmured.

"What? No! What happened to her? Why did you do that! How could you! What did you do?"

Edwards jaw tightened. He looked furious and hurt, but I was way beyond reason to care.

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Esme backed out the room. Leaving me, Emmett, Carlisle, Edward and the wolf.

I didn't want to think of Bella as a wolf.

She was awkward, happy, shy, but bold, caring, loving, compassionate, not angry. She wasn't violent. She didn't belong in the supernatural world. She wasn't strong enough.I tugged on Edwards grip but I wasn't strong enough.

"Let me GO!" I screamed.

"Bella, she's trying to calm down. Leave her be." He whispered, so low I hardly heard.

Or maybe my hearing was going, whichever.

"Please, Edward." I begged, "Let me help her."

He frowned.

"I cant let you do that."

"Why?"

I was suddenly occupied with the force of his eyes. His eyes, they were unexplainable. They were just…I was at loss for words.

"I cant let you get hurt." He mumbled.

It shocked me. He couldnt let me get hurt? Why was he telling me this? He still felt like this...he still felt the same way about me even though I was wrinkly, old, and nothing like the girl I used to be. I was different, stronger, broken, hurt, emotional, I was _different._ I wasnt the Bella I used to be when I was with him. I wasnt me anymore, I wasnt Bella. I was an awkward-teenage girl, way beyond repair, stuck in a middle-aged womans body.

Edward noticed my deliberation.

"She's not going to hurt me, Edward." I soothed.

Edward seemed to be deliberating over something, because his eyebrows furrowed and his grip loosened a bit. He sighed, and let go altogether. My skin felt dull, my heart had been racing the whole time Edward had been touching me, and the electricity that coursed through my body was unbelievable, making up for lost time.

I smiled at him, a small smile, and turned to my granddaughter.

I sat down warily next to her, and stroked one ear. She leaned her head into my head and gazed at me apologetically with her eyes.

"It's okay." I soothed, "It's not your fault."

Her eyes flickered to Edward, and then back to me.

I looked at Edward.

"What started it off? What made her angry?"

Edward gracefully came and sat down beside me. I noticed that Carlisle and Emmett had left the room. Why hadn't Edward?

"It was…"

Edward stopped talking because Bella suddenly looked at him, and gave out a low whine.

"What did she say?"

"She doesn't want me to tell you. She thinks you'll be disappointed in her."

I smiled at her, and her warm chocolate eyes looked back at me.

"I would never be disappointed in you, Bella. Your my rock. Your my everything. The only person who's ever understood me and never left me. Please, tell me?"

She sounded like she sighed, and her body slumped. I stroked her head again and she leaned her head into my hand, purring.

"She got angry at me." Edward said.

"But why would she be angry at you? She wanted to meet you, She said-"

I stopped, embarrassed and blushing when I remembered Bella telling me that me and Edward must love each other.

Edward took his time with his answer, he looked up at me and I didn't want to look away. His eyes were so full of…passion.

"She tried not to. But she could see I still had feelings…for you." He mumbled, looking embarrassed but relieved "She couldn't believe why I would leave you even if I thought I was protecting you. She was angry at me because I…because I didn't see what it would do to you if I left. She was so confused…I made her angry. It's my fault, and I can't apologize enough, for everything."

I stared at him open-mouthed for a moment, neither of us looking away.

"Of course, it doesn't help being within close proximity of her mortal enemy." He added.

"Mmmm." I agreed, shocked that Bella was right, he did leave to protect me.

Edwards cool marble hand reached out towards wolf-Bella warily. Bella looked at him, and he obviously heard something in her thoughts that allowed him to proceed in his actions. He placed one cool hand on her furry shoulder.

"I'm truly sorry for all the problems I've caused." He apologized.

Something in his tone of voice told me it wasn't only Bella he was apologizing to.

**A/N: Hehe, cliffhanger-ish? :) Sorry, i know, i'm evil. *grins wickedly***


	13. Goodbye, forever?

**Chapter song- Goodbye My Almost Lover (A fine frenzy)/ Here we go again (Demi Lovato)/ Quiet (Demi Lovato)**

**_it's much too quiet in here.  
i wanna disappear,  
i'm hearing myself thinking too clear.  
it's too quiet in here,  
make it all go away.  
why can't we break the silence, finally._**

don't stop, don't stop telling me goodnight  
just promise you'll kiss me goodbye.  
what's taking so long ?  
don't tell me you're not gonna try,  
the tensions building in my mind,  
i wanna scream, and i know why!

**_It's much too quiet in, here._**

**_*_**

We sat in silence for a moment. Until Bella made a little grunt-noise, and she smiled a wolfy grin.

"She can phase back now, she doesn't feel so angry anymore. I'll go ask Esme to fetch her some clothes…"

Edward jumped up and called Esme. Esme was at the door in a flash, with a pile of clothes in her hands. She put them down softly next to Bella.

"I tried not to touch them much, so they wouldn't have our smell on them…I'm told we smell bitter to you." She explained to Bella.

Bella grinned her wolfy grin.

"She says thank you." Edward told Esme.

"Lets give them some privacy." Esme said, and both her and Edward walked out the room.

I stood up and backed away a little. Bella grunted, and there was a sudden shimmer-like sound and sight. Then there was my granddaughter Bella sitting on the floor. She smiled sheepishly and grabbed some underwear. She stuffed them on and I passed her a top, black and white, which obviously Alice had chose. She threw it on over her head, it fit her perfectly, and suited her. I passed her a pair of jeans, black with inklings of some silver pattern over them, which had obviously been chosen by Alice too. There was a pair of white socks, which she put on too, but no shoes.

She looked at me.

"Sorry." Was all she said.

I held my arms out for her and she launched herself into them, sobbing.

"It's not your fault, baby." I soothed, stroking her long blonde waves.

"It is, it's all my fault. It's all _ruined." _She sobbed.

"What's ruined?"

"Everything. I really wanted to get to know them…I really did, I even…"

Tears ran down her face and I quickly wiped them away.

"Don't cry, Bella, don't cry. Your just in shock, don't worry." I said, rocking her back and forth.

She cried for a few more minutes, while I sat there and rocked her on the spot, until she sniffed and wiped her eyes. She looked up at me from beneath her lashes, her eyes soft and warm.

"I'm sorry, Nanny."

"It's okay, Bella. You didn't do anything wrong."

She snorted.

"I never get angry. Never, not even when cancer took mum, I just learned to live with it. I wasn't _angry. _I knew there was nothing I could do about it, I just moved on, although I was sad. But when I saw Edward I don't know, I don't even feel like he's done anything wrong, I just thought…why would he _do _that? He loves you _so _much, you haven't seen it Nanny, and I know now there is not any way that you two can be together, but I just wanted you to be _friends. _Nanny, Edward would kill for you, he would die for you, I can tell all this just from his eyes, so I wonder what his heart feels. He left you for _you, _he _loves _you. I tried to tell myself this, but then I saw how much you love him too."

I went to speak, but she held one hand up at me, signalling me to let her finish.

"I told myself that there was no need to be angry. But I just thought, he's made you lose _everything, _he's your everything. This family. This way of life. These vampires. _They _are your life. He took away everything. Suddenly I couldn't stop myself, how could he not see how much he means to you? Then…I'm this huge beast. All I could see was red. I wanted to _kill him. _When he defended you it made it worse. How _dare _he, he left you in danger of Victoria! Because of _him, _great-granddad Charlie died, your dad, who meant just as much to you as Edward did. But when I saw you peek around his arm…saw the confusion on your face, it made me stop and see sense. It took me a while to fully understand how to do it, how to go back human. I just cleared my mind of all my thoughts, and then…here I am."

She smiled, and hugged me, I hugged her tightly. We stood there for several minutes.

"Esme's right, they do smell bitter, sickly sweet. But I like it."

Esme and Edward walked in just as Bella pulled away from my air-tight hug. Esme gave Bella a small smile and Edward looked right at me and mouthed 'sorry', to me.

"I think we'll have to go now. I'm sorry." I said to them.

"It's all my fault." Bella mumbled.

"Bella!" I snapped. "Don't say that! I just told you, it's not your fault. Okay?" I took her face into my hands and stared at her until she sighed and nodded.

Edward opened the door for us and we walked through, out to the car.

"Goodbye, Esme." Bella said, reaching out for a hug.

Bella was brave, I knew young werewolves like the back of my hand, and I knew the slightest touch could send her off again, but it didn't.

"Goodbye, young Bella." Esme murmured.

Carlisle came to the door and shook her hand, saying goodbye and that he was sorry, then he joined Esme. Emmett ran out too.

"Leaving so soon, Bella Junior?" He asked.

Bella smiled up at him, "Afraid so, got a bit of a problem you see."

"Ah well, maybe another time?" Emmett asked, holding up his hand for a high five.

"Sure, if I can." Bella said, jumping up to reach his high five.

Emmett bounded over to me and gave me a hug, whispering goodbye in my ear. Esme and Carlisle waved and gave me sad looks, Alice and Jasper came to the door, Alice ran over to both me and Bella to give us over-excited hugs. Jasper kept away, the same as Rosalie did, giving us small waves.

I saved Edward for last. Bella waved and got in the car and I turned towards him, I saw all the rest of the Cullen's run off, probably to give us some privacy.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He said.

"It's not your fault."

"It is, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done that caused you pain." He looked right into my eyes, "If I could go back in time, I would, I would do anything to be able to be with you. I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. You are my life, you have always been. I was never the same without you, ask my family. I did nothing, I refused to join any school, I refused to hunt, or to even move. I just sat and stared, curled up in a ball. It was like I was a soulless body, wandering the earth. I had found my reason, I had found the way. But it was taken away from me. There was no reason anymore, no reason for my existence without you, nothing. I thought I was protecting you, I thought you would be able to move on from me, I didn't want to impact your life, I didn't want you to be like this. I wanted you to have a family, like you do now. But I see I was wrong. I was stupid, I know that now. I know saying sorry means nothing, because, even if you do accept my apology, it cannot do anything. It will not allow us to go back in time. It will not allow us to be together, and you cannot imagine the regret I feel. So now, I guess this is goodbye. Isn't it? Because of my stupid mistakes, there is no point in us being even…acquaintances. Because that would just mean we will be dwelling on what could've been. And that is not good for either of us. So I must again, remove myself from your life. I promise, you will never see me again. You must go and be happy with Bella, and the rest of your family, if they ever forgive you for something I did. For allowing myself to be with you, when I knew this would end badly for both of us. I don't want to hurt you again, so I hope you understand why I leave. Unlike before. I said you weren't good for me, and I apologize for that. I cant believe how easy you believed the lie, Bella. I love you Bella. Why couldn't you see through the Lie? It frustrated me so. So just remember, I love you, and I always will, and I'm doing this for you. Goodbye, Bella."

I blinked, wet tears fell, and he wiped them away.

"I understand." I told him. "I love you too, Edward."

"Goodbye, I love you." He said.

Then quickly, he leaned in a kissed both my cheeks.

"I love you too. Goodbye, forever."

Edwards face was twisted in pure agony, and that was the last memory I ever registered of him. For he ran away, into the darkness.


	14. Letter for Bella

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews so far! I love you!

Chapter song- The way I loved you (Selena Gomez) [P.s, yes it is by Selena Gomez, I know Taylor Swift has a song called that too, but there is a Selena Gomez song called it) J

*

**Three years passed.**

**Edward had left me, for my own good.**

**But my whole life went downhill.**

**When my family had found out I had take my own granddaughter to a house full of 'filthy bloodsuckers', and she **_**phased…**_**well, her dad told me never to speak to me again, in fact his exact words were:**

"**Mum, I know how much you loved him, but I cant believe how much you put your own granddaughter through just to have an excuse to see him!? I'm sorry mum, but I cant stand this anymore. Mistake after mistake with you, you need **_**help **_**mum. I'm sorry, but until you sort yourself out, you cannot talk to me, or my daughters."**

**My daughter agreed with him too.**

**Jacob couldn't understand me either. He shouted at me down the phone, and told me soft soothing words. But he told me didn't want to see me, until he could see why I did it.**

**I was all **_**alone.**_

**I didn't have my son to rub my shoulder, my daughter to hug me, Alice to make everything okay again, Emmett to grin and tell me to cheer up.**

**I didn't have Bella.**

**I didn't have Bella, my rock. My one last piece of normality. She kept me there. She was the only one who wasn't biased, the only one to see things the way **_**I **_**saw them. They only one to see the love between me and Edward, that was still there, after all these years.**

**She was **_**gone.**_

**I was past words. So many people…Edward, Bella, Emmett, Alice, My Son, my Daughter, Jacob, Charlie, The Cullen's, **

**All gone.**

**I wish Victoria had killed me instead.**

**Death would've brought so much more than this. At least Death would be doing something. Heaven or Hell, whichever one I was destined to go, would be so much better than doing nothing.**

**I huddled up in my blanket, with a hot chocolate beside me, on my own, celebrating my fifty-seventh birthday, on my own. **

**Not even a phone call.**

**I didn't expect one, I didn't expect anything. I knew the rest of my life would be this…this nothing.**

**Life had moved on without me.**

"**Happy birthday, Bella." I choked out, in between my tears.**

**Somewhere between them, I fell asleep.**

**Only to awake again, at 8:30am. **

**I knew the day, it was the day after my birthday, it was Bella's birthday. Her fifteenth birthday.**

"**Happy birthday, Bella." I choked out, between the tears.**

**- Time passes. Oh well.**

**It was Bella's sixteenth birthday that I was diagnosed with depression, exhaustion, starvation, and cancer.**

**It was Bella's sixteenth birthday that I tried to earn their forgiveness…**

_**Bella, **_**I wrote**

_**Here's all your past birthday presents I haven't been able to give you, you don't have to keep them, I just thought you might want to. I mean like, they are yours after all.**_

_**I also apologize, for everything I've ever done that's hurt you. I hope your enjoying being a wolf…**_

_**I don't know if I'll ever see you again. **_

_**I'm not allowed to see you, I'll never be allowed, because I'll never stop believing in Edward. And I know that you don't understand, why would I choose a boy I'll never see again over you? Its because I love him. With all my heart. I love you too, but our love is different.**_

_**Besides, he was everything I could ever wish for. He left because it was good for me. Your dad took you away from me, for you, and I'm so selfish that I wish he hadn't.**_

_**I know I'll never see you again.**_

_**I guess this is goodbye, huh? My life has always had goodbye's in them, and they've always caused me great pain. My love's have always left me, that's why I'm always so depressed, not just because he left me. Because I knew that one way or another, everyone would turn on me. And then I'd be all alone. Just like I am now, depressed and alone.**_

_**I've been diagnosed with depression.**_

_**And exhaustion, and starvation.**_

_**And cancer.**_

_**I know I am going to die. Because I am too old to fight it off, don't worry about me, I just thought you should know.**_

_**Tell your sister I love her, tell your cousin he's special. I'll miss you. Tell your dad and your aunt I love them, that I've only ever tried to do things the right way, if I could. But I'm not very good at things like that.**_

_**Most importantly, remember I've always **__loved you Bella. You are my favourite person, Bella Esme Black, and I hope you have a happy life, find the love of your life, and have plenty of your own little children. Just like I wished I could've had without Edward. I wanted to try and move on, I tried. That's why your standing here today. Because I tried. But I just don't operate without Edward._

_I love you, my beautiful, intelligent, Bella._

_You are my rock, even though your not here._

_Nanny Bella._

_Xxx_

And I sealed the letter with the remains of my heart.


	15. Hospital

**CHAPTER SONG - DOWN (Jay Sean)/Blow Away (A fine frenzy)**

**A/N: The italics with a '*' next to them means that they are extracts from the books!**

_With a heart full of mess and lore  
We are doomed but we wanted more_

*

I packed my bags for the hospital. I had now become too frail to be on my own, so, off to the hospital it was.

I went to forks hospital, it was closest to my family, and I wanted to _die in the place of someone I loved. *_

I sighed, the hospital was the same. The nurse lead me to my room, it had pale yellow walls with white linoleum flooring, with a plain white bed in the middle. I couldn't be bothered to look around the room; it held nothing for me.

Instead I lay down on the bed, the nurse made me change into hospital clothing, and then a doctor came in to attach needles and wires to me. I hated needles. They hurt, like a thousand knives. But the pain in my heart was worse. It was torture, like someone had a knife and was cutting the routes off to my heart slowly. Leaving me in pain.

Somewhere in this, I drowned in sadness.

_I did not resurface. *_

_- Time Passes, again. -_

_..._

_......_

_........._

I didn't realise I was crying until the nurse came running in.

"Bella? What's wrong? Does it hurt?" She asked.

I didn't realise my heartbeat had been gradually speeding upwards, I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"No, no. Nothing hurts, it's just, it's my sixtieth birthday and I'm on my own again…"

"Oh, don't worry, it's okay."

The nurse backed out the room. Probably to keep away from me. I probably looked like a deranged old lady with no friends whatsoever. Well, that was excatly who I was.

How old was Emmett now? 17?

Bella? 17, 18?

Alice? 17?

And then there was still no contact. No return letter to my one that I sent Bella. Either she just ignored it, or her dad had hid it from her.

The new tears erupted, like a volcano.

My heartbeat was going faster this time, I didn't care, I wanted to die now, there was nothing left to live for.

I think a doctor came in then, he put a hand to my forehead. I must've been burning up or something, because his hand felt ice cold. Then he cradled me into his arms and we walked off.

Where was he taking me? The morgue? Was I dying?

The last image I registered, was this 'doctor'. He was staring down at me with his golden eyes, and bronze hair.

_Goodbye, forever. _Was my last thought, before my eyes closed on me.

**A/N: Don't worry! This isn't the end of the story, sorry its so short though. ****J**


	16. POV SWITCH! Letter for me

**CHAPTER SONG - THE BEACON (A Fine Frenzy)**

_You say you drag us downNo one should want you nowWhen I start to cry, you kiss my eyes and sayI'm not allowed to _

*

_**BELLA WOLF'S POV! **__**J**_

I recognised the handwriting as soon as I picked up the envelope. The envelope was hidden in dad's drawer. I hadn't meant to come across it, I wasn't looking for it. But it was the day after my seventeenth birthday, and I was looking for wrapping paper for Dad, he didn't say why he needed it though.

Shakily, I held it up. It was addressed "Bella" on the front, along with my address.

_Bella, _She wrote

_Here's all your past birthday presents I haven't been able to give you, you don't have to keep them, I just thought you might want to. I mean like, they are yours after all._

_I also apologize, for everything I've ever done that's hurt you. I hope your enjoying being a wolf…_

_I don't know if I'll ever see you again. _

_I'm not allowed to see you, I'll never be allowed, because I'll never stop believing in Edward. And I know that you don't understand, why would I choose a boy I'll never see again over you? Its because I love him. With all my heart. I love you too, but our love is different._

_Besides, he was everything I could ever wish for. He left because it was good for me. Your dad took you away from me, for you, and I'm so selfish that I wish he hadn't._

_I know I'll never see you again._

_I guess this is goodbye, huh? My life has always had goodbye's in them, and they've always caused me great pain. My love's have always left me, that's why I'm always so depressed, not just because he left me. Because I knew that one way or another, everyone would turn on me. And then I'd be all alone. Just like I am now, depressed and alone._

_I've been diagnosed with depression._

_And exhaustion, and starvation._

_And cancer._

_I know I am going to die. Because I am too old to fight it off, don't worry about me, I just thought you should know._

_Tell your sister I love her, tell your cousin he's special. I'll miss you. Tell your dad and your aunt I love them, that I've only ever tried to do things the right way, if I could. But I'm not very good at things like that._

_Most importantly, remember I've always loved you Bella. You are my favourite person, Bella Esme Black, and I hope you have a happy life, find the love of your life, and have plenty of your own little children. Just like I wished I could've had without Edward. I wanted to try and move on, I tried. That's why your standing here today. Because I tried. But I just don't operate without Edward._

_I love you, my beautiful, intelligent, Bella._

_You are my rock, even though your not here._

_Nanny Bella._

_Xxx_

So Nanny Bella did care? She didn't hate me like dad told me? He told me that she hated me for ruining everything…Alice and me told him that wasn't true, but he told us it was her exact words. Auntie Alice told Emmett the same story…

They lied.

Anger built up inside of me. I had never been so angry. This was my NAN, she was the one who understood me, and I understood her. She was my role model, everything I wanted to be, and they had taken her away from me. It had been one year since this letter was sent…

"_I know I am going to die."_

Trembling I thought it through, yes, she probably was dead.

Squaring my shoulders, and gritting my teeth, I stormed down the stairs.

All I could see was red, and I nearly phased when I saw my dad.


	17. Killer

CHAPTER SONG - As A blonde (Selena Gomez)

_I'm tainted, I'm tired, of being the same yeah.  
I'm desperate, I'm bored, I'm begging for change.  
What if you're normal and wanna be strange?  
Come back, come back, come back._

**_A/N: Yeah, this is still in Bella 'Junior'/ Bella-Wolf's POV! :]_**

*

Dad was sitting casually on the sofa, Alice was sitting on the other chair.

Me and Alice hadn't been the same as we had been since Nan 'didn't want to see us anymore'. Alice cried _so _much those first few weeks, then she went silent. She hardly spoke anymore, she wasn't the Alice I used to know. When mum had died she'd been exactly like this, but mum had talked her out of it. Nan wasn't here to do that. All because of my dad.

He basically _killed _her.

Alice looked up at me when I walked in. Her blonde hair hung limp, and greasy, her brown eyes empty, and searching. She looked so fragile, so limp. She was too thin, she was underweight. Her clothes literally swallowed her. And they were her clothes from three years ago. She needed Help. Dad didnt notice. He didnt care, was I the only one who could tell? Even Alice thought she was normal. Was I the only one who could see sense?

Dad looked up at me.

"Where's the paper?" He asked.

"Who CARES about the friggin' paper?!" I screamed at him.

"What?"

I held up the envelope and the letter from Nan in front of his face. His face went as hard as stone, and his eyes - NANS EYES - looked angry.

"Where did you find that?"

"Have you READ it Dad?" I asked, ignoring his question.

He sighed.

"No, I didn't. I knew it would be full of fake apologies, if she was that sorry, then she would've come around and talked it through."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

He looked at me, startled.

"Don't you start that with me, Bella!" He shouted, standing up.

"I WILL! BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T READ THE LETTER! IF YOU HAD READ IT YOU WOULD'VE KNOWN THAT NAN IS DYING, WELL, SHE'S DEAD NOW! HAPPY, NOW? THANKS A BUNCH DAD! I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU!" I exploded.

Alice ran over to my side, tears already in her misty eyes.

"Nan is dead?" She asked in a small voice.

I handed her the letter. She skimmed it with her eyes.

"Cancer." She mumbled.

Dad snorted. I looked at him angrily, with half-crazed eyes.

"You think this is _funny?"_

"She knows that you two are so gullible that you would believe that, she knows that that's what your mum died of and you two never got over it. Of course, she lied." He said in a matter-of-fact voice.

Alice shot him a dark look, the same as me.

"Nan doesn't lie." She said.

Dad shook his head.

"You don't know what she's like."

"I DO! You weren't there for her! You didn't see how much she needed someone to lean on! Because Edward was everything she needed! You didn't see the way she looked at him! You didn't see the way they said goodbye for the _second _time! You didn't see the way she looked on the way home! YOU don't know her! I know her! You don't! So don't you _dare _say that I don't know her! NAN wouldn't lie about that!" I screamed. "You Killer!"

He snorted. I started trembling. Alice looked at me with wide eyes and put one hand on my shoulder. She unleashed the force of her eyes on me. Alice knew how to calm me down when I was close to phasing, even though she never became a wolf herself. She was too…empty for that now. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Waiting for the trembling to stop. It did.

"Go see for yourself then." Dad snapped once I opened my eyes.

"Maybe I will!"

With that, I grabbed my jacket and my car keys.

I jumped into my car and sped towards Nan's house.


	18. The Note

_Chapter song - Ashes and wine._

_**Don't know what to do anymore,**_

_**Lost the only love worth fighting for.**_

_*****_

'_**BELLA WOLF'S POV :] **_

I sat outside in my car for a few minutes. Taking deep breaths. 

I didn't believe Nan was dead. She had always told me if there was any trouble, and she thought she would die, then she would tell me, because she loved me. She told me I got most of her money, her house…everything. If she had died, she would've told me, if she still loved me, right?

Maybe Dad was telling the truth, maybe she thought I had ruined everything with the Cullen's.

She cant be dead!

With that, I jumped out of my car, locking it behind me. I stared at the small brown house, and sighed. There was a light on in the front room. I peeped through the window, but nothing was on, nobody was there. Just the light was on. I frowned.

I rang the doorbell. Once. Twice.

I tapped my foot impatiently, then I rang the doorbell again.

No answer.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I had a spare key to her house anyway.

I pulled out the key from the back of my jeans, and let myself in. The door creaked, as if it hadn't been opened in years. I pushed that thought out of my head, no, I didn't believe Nan was dead.

"Nan?" I called.

No answer.

I stepped out into the hallway, looking around. I went to the front room first, there definitely was no trace of anyone living here in the past few years. I stumbled over to Nan's chair, where she used to huddle up in a blanket with her hot chocolate. She loved her hot chocolate. There was a mug on the floor beside the chair, I picked it up and peered in it. Staring back was mouldy hot chocolate. A few tears _plopped _into it, and I put it back down.

I shuffled to the kitchen, and looked in the fridge. I pulled out the first thing I saw, cheese, which looked old and mouldy. The fridge was literally empty besides the cheese. I looked at its 'use by' date.

It went off a year ago.

I dropped the cheese to the floor and ran to her bedroom. I flung open the door and saw her bed, made but empty. With the window closed and the blinds pulled shut. 

I ran over to her wardrobe, there was no clothes inside. I noticed a little note in there. Gingerly, I took it. Then backed away and sat on the edge of Nan's bed.

_To whom it may concern,_ it said.

_If you have found this then I guess I have already died of the cancer I have been diagnosed with. I do not wish to give anyone anything, I have given away everything I already own, I have no will, I have no friends, I have no family, there is no need for a funeral. I wish to be cremated, and if anyone would, I want to spread on the first beach in La Push. If that's possible. Thanks. _

_Life sucked._

No family? Given away everything? Was she kidding? Was this a joke? 

She didn't love me anymore did she. 

Dad was right, it was best he hadn't given me the letter. She was just lying, she hated me. She didn't love me, she used me, and Alice, and Emmett, and Dad, and auntie, and Granddad. Just so that she would be happy. They all realised this, didn't they? Did they think I had figured that out? 

Well I hadn't, I always believed her lies. I always did. I thought she had loved me, she had held me when I cried, she had taught me to believe in myself, she was everything to me. She was everything I wanted to be.

What a sick, twisted woman she was. 

Good, she'd died. It was what she deserved, she didn't deserve to live, to put other people through this.

I placed the note down on the bed, and with tears falling, I turned my back on my Nan for what I thought was forever.


	19. Red Eyes

**Chapter Song - Vanilla twilight (Owl City)**

_But drenched in vanilla twilight  
__I'll sit on the front porch all night  
__Waist-deep in thought because  
__When I think of you I don't feel so alone_

_*_

**_Bella-Wolf's POV :]_**

I give up.

There's nothing left anymore.

It's been six months since I found out Nan used me, and that she was dead.

And life was empty, again.

_Knock Knock._

"Bella! Get that please!" Dad called from the front room.

I trudged out of the kitchen and opened the door.

The woman staring back at me was beautiful, and she smiled wickedly. Her red eyes light up.

I slammed the door in her face, crying. I didn't want to see her.


	20. POV SWITCH! Be Together

**HEY! THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! WOO! BACK TO BELLA'S POV! (NOT THE WOLF ONE!) :] HAHA! SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE CLIFFHANGER BEFORE, I COULDN'T RESIST :] 3**

**Chapter song - If my heart was a house (Owl City)**

_Circle me and the needles moves gracefullyBack and forth, if my heart was a compass you'd be NorthRisk it all cause I'll catch you if you fallWherever you go, if my heart was a house you'd be home_*

BELLA'S POV!! :]

I was aware that someone else was with me.

Their touch was cool, smooth, and marble.

I opened my eyes and realised I was in the arms of the bronze haired doctor. We were sitting inside the house. He smiled at me.

"I couldn't stay away." He explained.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked.

"I went to see if Bella was talking to you, I found her shouting at her dad saying you had cancer…so I came straight to the hospital. I looked up your name and they told me your room number, they were surprised that someone wanted to visit you, actually."

He smiled and I smiled back.

"Why did you even bother? You knew I was going to die eventually."

Edward's eyes light up.

"I found a way for us to be together."

I sighed. "That's not possible Edward."

He grinned. "Yes it is!"

"How?"

"I'll explain in a moment. I just want to live the moment for now."

I frowned at him, confused. He just smiled my favourite crooked smile, and it took my breath away. I had missed that smile. Oh so much, his smile, his eyes, his lips, his skin, his feel. I missed him so much.

I realised I was lying across his lap and blushed, then sat up awkwardly.

"Tell me, please, Edward you cant leave me in suspense like this!"

I pulled his face into my hands and stared at him, he grinned at me and stroked me cheek, leaving a tingling feeling.

"I wanted to die, Bella. So that I knew that I wouldn't come back and hurt you again, for the third time. So I went to the Volturi."

"What's that?"

"They're the closest that our kind has to royalty. I went to them, and asked to speak to them. I had to wait a while, for an appointment" He smirked, "Eventually I was able to see them."

I stared at him in wonder.

"I didn't ask to die, like I had decided to at first." He continued, "See, Aro collects vampires with gifts. Like me, or Alice. I was surprised to see a new face there. He has the most…wonderful power ever. Yet it only works on humans, I don't know why they keep him. He doesn't really want to be there either, he's there for convenience."

I waited for him to continue. I was open-mouthed like a goldfish, what had happened? Why won the continue? Why is he taking his time in telling this story?

"What's his power?" I questioned.

"He can make you younger or older."

He smiled, and kissed my cheek.


	21. Two Loves

Chapter song - Air Traffic (Owl City) I don't know why I chose this song, it's not really related to the chapter, lol :]

_**I'm just a show,  
As far as I can tell,  
So I paint my eyes a light silver beams,  
Are twirling and swirling ,  
Throughout your dreams,  
Like air traffic streams**_

*****

**A/N: I dont know why i keep writing such short chapters! It's annoying me! :]**

"When do you want to leave?" He asked.

"And you're sure he'll use it…on me?" I asked in a quite voice.

"Of course, I already asked, they said yes. Aro is very fond of Carlisle."

"I don't think I can." I told him.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

I stood up and started pacing the room.

"Bella will never forgive me, I know she doesn't love me anymore, or even if she does, it's not a patch on how much I love her. I cant do that to her."

Edward was in front of me in a flash.

"I know I've hurt you Bella." He pleaded, "I know you care for more than just me now, and I was prepared for this. But Bella, she's got on without you for years, you've had no contact with her for years. Maybe she doesn't love you, you want to give me up for someone who doesn't love you? I love you, and you know it. Why are you being like this!"

I gave him a dark look.

"She's my _granddaughter _Edward. You left me! And I know you left for my own good, but if you don't want me to be a vampire, if you never did, then you cant expect me not to get on with my life! You told me to be happy Edward, and I was! Sort-of. My life was okay, it was going along. Sure, my heart ached and I was dying, but it was going okay. Then you show up, and everything from my past comes back to get me, ruining my life! I want to be with you Edward, I really do, but I cant leave them! They're my family!"

Edward, stunned, flopped onto the sofa. He stared at me, but his eyes weren't really seeing.

A wave of guilt hit me, he was doing everything in his power to try and let him and me be together. I should be accepting this. I should be. Bella doesnt care does she? But that doesn't change the fact that I love her.

"I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have come back, I should've asked them to kill me right then, I shouldn't have taken the temptation. I'm sorry. I'll go now." He murmured.

"No! No, Edward, let me think this through. Please." I begged.

He nodded.

"Oh, and don't ever say that you should've been killed. I'm not worth it, honest."

He shook in head in disagreement.

"How unclearly you see yourself, you are beautiful, even in your old age."

I shook my head, and he let it go with a sigh.

I couldnt let Bella go. Edward had said goodbye to me so many times that it hardly affected me anymore, I had found a way to live without him, that way was Bella. Of course, I needed Edward like a drug, but I needed Bella too. I knew i couldn't have both co-exist side by side, while i skipped around happily and sang with joy.

Who did i need most? More importantly, who needed me most?

Edward. No matter how many times he said goodbye, no matter how much better it was for me for him to leave; he kept coming back. I loved him, more than I had loved anyone, and he loved me too. The feelings that coursed through my old ancient body when i thought of Edward was unexplainable. He was everything for me, but so was Bella.

Bella. She was there, even though everyone had given up on me, even though she was forbidden from me, she had been there. She had loved me, she had cared about me, she was my rock. My last peice of humanity, the only one who kept me holding on. She had fixed me after I had been trampled on by so many people, so many times. We needed each other.

I took a deep breath.

"Edward. I cant, I have to stay with my family. I'm sorry, but I cant give up on Bella."

I turned my back on him, and tried to blink away the tears that came.


	22. Anticipation

**Chapter song; The way i loved you (selena gomez)**

**A/N: I sware, my chapters are getting shorter :O!**

*****

Edward caught my wrist.

"Bella. Your going to _die _if you go back to them, and they might not accept you. They might not want you. I would _never _let you down, I would _never _push you away again, and I cant let you _die." _

His voice pushed me over the edge, and I started to sob.

"Your right." I mumbled.

He patted my hair.

"But I cant give up on them…"

"You don't have to. We can come back."

I sighed. It would be better than dying, because then I would be with Bella for the rest of her life. And I would be with Edward. Forever.

But would Bella accept me?

"Lets leave, now. Before I change my mind again."

Edward cradled me up in his arms, and we ran.

The wind felt so cool against my frail skin, so did Edward. I was sure I was burning up, I swear he was never this…ice cold.

He didn't look like the running affected him at all. He looked like it was the same as him sitting down, and this amazed me. I fought the urge to stroke his cheek with my thumb. I would wait till I was changed, and young again.

It felt weird, knowing that I had grown this old, and had such a weird life, but I had gained two loves out of it, and now I was reversing it all. I couldn't make sense of it.

I sighed. Life was so complicated. No matter how many times i tried to be normal; I guess I was supposed to be part of the supernatural world after all.

I thought of Bella. Jacob had never updated me on anything about her, none of my family had spoken to me in years. Had she continued to be a wolf? How did she take it? How was she doing? How angry did she get? Was she different, if so, was it for better or worse? Did she love me anymore? Did she-

"Are you tired?" Edward asked after two minutes.

"I don't want to sleep."

He shook his head. Laughing.

I thought of something and tilted my head to the side, studying his face.

"Are you going to do it?" I asked.

He looked at me; "Do what?"

"Are you going to change me?"

His face looked pained.

"Edward. You have to." I mumbled, confused.

He sighed and nodded.

"I know, I'm just not looking forward to it."

"So you are?" I asked, smiling.

"Yes, I am."

"What about my cancer?"

"Bella, you'll be returning to your eighteen-year-old state, you didn't have cancer then, did you?"

I nodded. Smiling some more.

We ran for about ten more minutes in silence. Until we met up with his family, I think we were on the border of Forks and La Push.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"We agreed to meet here, it's where no one else will be." He said, shrugging.

He set me down on the floor and the world swayed a bit. I held my head and regained my balance, there were six other vampires here. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. They were coming too? Why? Why couldn't it be just me and Edward?

"Let's go, we'll make it there by tomorrow"

Alice's eyes flashed, and anticipation curled up in my stomach.


	23. Dreaming

Chapter song - Naturally (Selena Gomez)

**Edward scooped me up into his arms and we ran again. This time his family did, too.**

**After a minute Edward placed me into the back of a black car, and I drifted off into sleep. I awoke when we were at the airport, but fell asleep on the plane again, I felt so tired, I had never been this tired. I awoke again, and managed to walk to the car, then collapsed inside the car.**

**I drifted off into a dream.**

_**Everything was perfect. **_

_**Me and Edward, there was no Bella to worry about, because Edward hadn't left me.**_

_**But I still felt like something was missing.**_

_**I thought it was Jacob. But it wasn't. It was Bella.**_

"_**Happy one hundred and fiftieth birthday." Edward whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek.**_

_**I smiled at him, and kissed him. Everything had been so much better since I was a vampire. Me and Edward didn't have restrictions anymore.**_

_**Suddenly there was a horrible smell, burning my nose.**_

_**I pulled away from Edward and turned around, I came face to face with, a teeth-bared, bronze-coloured, wolf.**_

_**The wolf snarled at me and I gasped. Seeing my eyes in the wolf.**_

_**The wolf snapped at my face.**_

"_**Bella!" I whispered.**_

_**The wolf saw something on my face that made me calm down. **_

_**The wolf disappeared, and sitting in it's place was an pale-face, defenceless, helpless child.**_

_**Bella looked up at me with her deep brown eyes.**_

**I gasped, and jumped.**

"**Bella?" I could hear Edwards voice, but I couldn't see him.**

**I felt woozy, like I was going to be sick. I put a hand to my head. I wanted more sleep, but I had a feeling I shouldn't.**

**I shuddered, and felt someone's arms on my shoulders. I turned and saw Bella looking down at me, worried and caring. Tears stung my eyes.**

"**Bella?" I asked.**

**She frowned and bared her teeth.**

"**No, Bella. It's me, Edward."**

"**No you're Bella…why are you angry?"**

"**No, Bella honey, I'm Edward. And I'm not angry, I'll never be angry at you."**

"**You are angry, Bella, your frowning. What's wrong?"**

"**Edward, I think she's hallucinating." I heard Alice's voice say, startling me.**

"**Is that even possible?" He asked sharply.**

"**I don't know, I'm no doctor." She snapped. "Maybe you should slap her."**

**He snorted.**

"**Bella? Bella honey can you hear me? Can you see me?" Edward asked.**

**I looked into Bella's big brown eyes. **_**You left me. **_**They accused. I started trembling.**

"**No! Bella I didn't leave you!" I cried.**

"**Bella?" Edward's voice pierced my thoughts.**

"**Edward? Edward, Tell her I didn't leave her!" I cried, looking for Edward, "Edward, where are you?" **

"**I'm right here Bella, in front of you."**

**All I could see was Bella in front of me though, not just in front of me. She was everywhere. Everywhere I looked she was there, her eyes accusing, her finger pointing, I spun around on the spot, hitting my head on the car roof on the way, there was no Edward.**

**I felt very dizzy.**

"**I think I'm going to go to bed now, Bella." I told her.**

"**Edward! Don't let her!" I heard Alice gasp.**

"**What why?" I heard Edward ask.**

**There was two seconds of silence, and then cold hands clamped down on my shoulders, shaking me.**

"**BELLA!" Someone screamed. **

**I shook my head. "Just, five more minutes." I sighed.**

**The world began to spin, and it kept cutting out. Some parts black, some with Bella, pointing, accusing. I preferred the blackness. It felt nice. It was inviting, warm, safe. A place without anyone, a place where there were no worries. I felt numb in that place, like I had no feelings.**

"**Bella! You have to stay awake! Come on! We're almost there!"**

"**Five minutes." I argued.**

"**Bella, you cant." He pleaded.**

"**Why, Bella?"**

"**It's me, I'm Edward. Bella, your Hallucinating honey, don't worry, it'll be over soon, just don't fall asleep, please honey."**

**I shook my head. "Why?"**

"**Because otherwise you'll die in your…"**

**But I never learned the rest, because my eyes clamped down, and I fell into a very, very deep sleep.**

**A/N: Don't you just love cliff-hangers? :]**


	24. AN: SONG FOR BELLA 'JUNIOR'

A/N: So, I did a song for Bella. Here's one for Bella.

Haha, nawh it's for Bella 'Junior'/Bella Wolf. Just so you can properly understand her now.

( I don't miss you at all by Selena Gomez )

_**It doesn't hurt**_

_**when I think of you**_

_**And all the things we'll**_

_**Never get to do**_

_**I don't dream at night about the way we were**_

_**I tore out the pictures, cross out all the wordsDon't be fooled by all my tears,**_

_**Cause everything is fine**_

_**And you can pick up all the pieces**_

_**That you left behind(Chorus)Cause I never think about you**_

_**I'm better off without you**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**You don't spin around in my head**_

_**It's like you never existed**_

_**And I hope you don't call**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**And I'm not trying to fight it**_

_**No, I'm not trying to fight it**_

_**So you can cross my name right**_

_**Off the wall**_

_**I don't miss you at allI go out seven nights a week**_

_**It feels so good to finally be free**_

_**And I party like I never did before**_

_**Oh, what in the world was I waiting for?**_

_**Everything is perfect now**_

_**Without you in my life**_

_**You could pick up all the pieces**_

_**That you left behind(Chorus)Cause I never think about you**_

_**I'm better off without you**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**You don't spin around in my head**_

_**It's like you never existed**_

_**And I hope you don't call**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**And I'm not trying to fight it**_

_**No, I'm not trying to fight it**_

_**So you can cross my name right**_

_**Off the wall**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**I don't miss you at allI'll just tell myself**_

_**You'll forgive the past**_

_**No time for regrets**_

_**No more looking back**_

_**I'll forgive you more**_

_**Every single day**_

_**Every step I take**_

_**Is getting better(Chorus)Cause I never think about you**_

_**I'm better off without you**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**You don't spin around in my head**_

_**It's like you never existed**_

_**And I hope you don't call**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**And I'm not trying to fight it**_

_**No, I'm not trying to fight it**_

_**So you can cross my name right**_

_**Off the wall**_

_**I don't miss you at all**_

_**I don't miss you**_

_**I don't miss you **_


	25. POV SWITCH! I had been too late

**EDWARD'S POV! ****J**** Chapter song - Parachute (Cheryl Cole)**

_I don't need a parachuteBaby, if I've got youBaby, if I've got youI don't need a parachuteYou're gonna catch meYou're gonna catch if I fallDown, down, down*_

"Because you'll die in your sleep Bella." I said, gently taking her hand.

Bella mumbled something and frowned. I stared at her, she sighed and gasped. Then I realised something I hadn't before; she was sleeping!

She seemed so awake when she was asleep. She spoke my name so clearly "Edward." She mumbled.

I checked her pulse in her wrist. It was slowing.

"Bella! Bella wake up!" I cried.

I shook her. "Bella wake up!"

She didn't stir, her pulse slowed even more.

No, I couldn't lose her. Not after everything we had been through. After all I had ever done to keep her alive, to keep her safe. I knew she would die eventually, if I had kept out of her life, but what was the purpose of my life without my Bella?

My life had been completely empty when I left Bella when she was eighteen. The look on her face almost sent me running back. She was beautiful, gorgeous, and oh-so breakable. I had turned my argument around on her, used the only weapon I had against her, I lied. 'Your no good for me Bella' were my exact words. It was the only thing that I could use against her. But it was a lie. A complete and utter lie.

My life had been empty. I had more or less curled up in a ball and stared. I only went hunting when extremely necessary, when my eyes were coal black, and I was half-crazed with thirst. I heard Bella's voice in my head. The pain in it. The expression on her face. Her calls for me once I ran away. I heard them, they got closer and closer as I hid behind the tree, waiting for her to leave, to check she was safe. But then she curled up in a ball and cried, I couldn't stand to see it anymore, otherwise I would have probably gone back there, kissed her on the forehead, inhaled her beautiful scent. I probably would've sat beside her and pulled her up onto my lap, rocked her and told her it was okay, that I wasn't going anywhere, I would've stayed. Forever. I probably would've proposed. I wanted to. But she was too young, well, in her mind she was. I would've done anything for Bella. And it was the first time that I truly ever wanted to be human again. To be able to be with Bella, throughout or lives, and to die in our old age, the way it's supposed to be.

I wanted to be able to marry her, to be able to go away to college together, to but a house together, to have children and grow old. I had seen it all, though. I had seen it all when I thought of Bella; I wanted our future.

She wanted exactly the same as me. But in the reverse.

She wasn't happy enough to have me for the rest of her life. I was prepared to be there for her life. Throughout her old age and everything, but she didn't want that, she wanted more. She wanted to be like me, she wanted to be a vampire too. She wanted to stay with me forever, and parts of me wanted that too. I wanted Bella to be like me too, so we could have forever together, I wouldn't have to live without Bella. Not that I was planning on living longer than she did.

But I wouldn't take away her soul.

I didn't want to damn her to an eternity of HELL. Like me, she was pure, whole, she was good. She wasn't like me, the only thing I had that was good in me was my _virtue._

When I had seen Bella again, after so many years, I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay, be with Bella. But I saw what happened when she saw me, she cried. Two of the kids in her car flew away, not seeing their Nan cry. I knew she was their Nan, and that broke my heart again. If I had one. I had left it with Bella. They looked just like her; beautiful.

One stayed in the car and calmed her. Bella. She had Bella's eyes, Bella's face shape, the blush in her cheeks, her slender neck, her slim figure…the only difference was the age and hair colour.

Carlisle told me he would talk to her, it was only fair, I agreed and walked past the car. The little-Bella looked at me, wide-eyed. Did she know who I was?

_Wonder how Nana knows Edward Cullen. She looks so…scared, confused, hurt? I cant put my finger on it. There's something there.._

I tuned out of her thoughts before I got waist-deep in Bella's emotions.

Then her granddaughter wanted to meet us. She didn't necessarily, I searched her mind. Wondering why she would do this.

_I see. I wonder if they will ever get together again? Just stay out of the human eyes…Mmmm, look at the devotion in his eyes…it almost hurts to look. It's easy to see why he'd go for her, he loves her…she's pretty, fragile. And she's totally in love with-_

I cut out her thoughts. I didn't want to know this.

I could see from Bella's eyes that she knew we couldn't be together. After her granddaughter had phased, the pain in her eyes…and when I said goodbye. This time she finally understood.

And my life had gone round in a complete circle again.

This time I wanted to die. Just to know I wouldn't go back, and hurt her again. But, when I saw him, when I saw Harold, the vampire with the perfect gift. I couldn't help it. I saw a chance, and took it. Without thought. And Bella wanted it too.

But now she was gone. I had been too late.


	26. POV SWITCH! My visitor

POV SWITCH! J Back to Bella 'Junior' :]

Chapter song - I wont apologize (Selena Gomez)

*

"**Who was that Bella?" Dad called.**

**I ignored him, and went back to chopping carrots.**

**There was an evil laugh at the window, and the screech of nails running down the glass. I ignored her.**

"**Bella?" Dad called.**

"**Shut up!" I called back.**

**Dad sighed, like he always did nowadays. I never used to talk back. He knew how much he was hurting me, I told him Nan was dead, I told him, he didn't believe me. He thought Nan was playing it up. To cause me pain. And to be honest, I honestly did believe him now.**

**But I had heard his tearless sobs at night. The stupid thin walls didn't stop the sound travelling through. **

**I heard silent footsteps, which normal mortals wouldn't hear. Being a wolf helped quite a bit.**

**Ugh the **_**smell. **_**I cant believe I had once **_**liked **_**that. It was bitter, sweet, honey-like, with a cheesy tint to it, sugar-coated, and dipped in salt. It was horrible! I wrinkled my nose in disgust and threw the carrots into the pan.**

**I heard running steps, and tilted my head to the left to hear them. They came nearer and nearer. And suddenly, BAM! She smashed through my window.**

**She flew through my window, shattering glass that crashed everywhere, some of it scraped across my skin but I ignored it, I would heal in no time.**

**Her deep-burgundy red eyes fixed on me and they light up. She licked her lips and grinned, then shifted into a crouch.**

**Victoria's curly red hair flew behind her shoulders as she flew at me.**

"**Alice!" I screamed, ducking out the way.**

"**Yeah?" She asked.**

"**I'm going out for a bit!" **

**Alice didn't reply. I took that as an okay.**

**Victoria lunged for me again, and I dodged her, caught her head and threw her into the wall.**

**I grinned at her, and jumped out the smashed window.**

**I ran across the road and into the forest, Victoria on my tail. Well, not literally. I didn't really plan on phasing.**

**I stopped when we were deep in the forest, Victoria flipped over my head and stopped in front of me.**

"**What do you want?" I asked.**

**She tilted her head to the side.**

"**Your related to the girl I wanted to kill. Well, she escaped me." She exposed her teeth, "Guess I'll go with second best."**

**She killed Granddad Charlie. She tried to kill Nanny Bell- WHO CARES ABOUT HER? I screamed in my head, but I couldn't deny the irritating feeling…**

**Victoria lunged and I phased.**

**It was a surprisingly fun experience, phasing. One moment I was human, the next my body was burning with excitement, and I landed on the floor with four paws. It all lasted a split second for me.**

**I saw Victoria with new eyes and took a snap at her face as she lunged for me. She laughed in my face and tapped my nose as she flipped above me and landed on my back. She kicked around my head and I yelped and twisted. She did a handstand and then pinned me down to the floor. I snapped at her arm and caught it, but she covered my nose so I had to open my mouth to breathe, my jaws unclenched and she ran to a tree. Disappearing up it, I could hear her footsteps as she climbed and waited for her to ambush me. I growled and she laughed her whispery laugh. **

**She jumped to the next tree and then flipped down. Landing on my head, or so, she should've if I wasn't expecting it. I jumped and spun in the air, my teeth clamped down on her foot and ripped it away. She screamed and kicked me round the head.**

**I yelped and fell.**

**I knew it now, I wasn't strong enough, or well experienced. I had never practiced and was running purely by instinct.**

_**WOAH! Hey Bella! Why are you uh…wolf? **_**I heard Emmett ask in my head.**

**I opened my eyes and saw Victoria.**

_**OH MY GOD! Whoa, don't worry I'm coming!**_

_**Thanks. **_**I thought. I felt stupid doing that though.**

**Victoria didn't know she was about to be ambushed. Victoria creeped over to my side and grabbed one of my paws. She gave me an evil smile, and then crushed my paw beneath her hands. I howled, and she laughed.**

"**This is all your Nan's fault you know!" She laughed, "You can only blame her!"**

**I growled. She cant speak about Bella like that, she doesn't know her.**

_**Nearly there! Hold up!**_

**My vision cut in and out of reality. I was having a strange sense of de ja vu, even though this had never happened before.**

**I tried to swipe Victoria as she moved up my leg, but it was half-hearted, not strong enough.**

**She crushed my leg beneath her fists and I howled again.**

**She laughed and then we both caught the smell of Emmett. Victoria's eyes went wide. Apparently she didn't like uneven numbers.**

_**Hey! Whoa, she looks angry, C'mon then. Bring it.**_

**Suddenly Victoria's smell was overpowering. Like she was breathing on my face or something, I closed my eyes and slumped to the floor, beaten.**

_**MAN! Sorry, Bella, I cant, I'm so sorry.**_

**I frowned.**

**I heard vicious snarls, and I opened my eyes.**

**The last image I saw before the darkness engulfed me, was chocolate brown hair.**


	27. POV SWITCH! In a hurry

**BACK TO EDWARDS POV!**

**Chapter Song - Bad Romance (Lady gaga) **

*****

"Speed up Alice!" I told her.

"We'll be there in two minutes." Alice's eyes glazed over.

I laid Bella down on the back seat and started doing compressions. One two three. One two three. Keep your heart beating.

But Bella didn't want to live again.

One two three.

One two three.

One two three.

Bella's heart beat begrudgingly, and I caught my breath.

"Bella?"

Bella's heart stopped again and she screamed.

"Bella!"

One two three.

One two three.

One two three.

Keep your heart beating.

Bella.

I need you.

Bella.

I felt woozy. Was that even possible for me? I cant get ill can I? I'm immortal.

Bella gasped and I went back to doing compressions.

One two three.

One two three

One two three.

Keep your heart beating.

"Ten seconds." Alice said.

The car zoomed through the streets of volterra, and we came to a stop in front of the entrance to the castle. It was night so we ran out quickly. I held Bella in my arms. Her heart beat slowly, slowing every second.

"We're here to see Harold." Alice told the woman at the desk. I didn't bother to look for her name.

Instead I looked at my precious Bella. Her wrinkled face didn't make her any less beautiful, her chocolate eyes, rolling back into her head right now. Her mouth parted, her tongue lolling around. Gasping for air. The hair that framed her face was not hers. I could smell the dye. I looked at her roots. She had grey.

"Uh. Well, um sure. Hang on"

"NOW. She's dying we need to see him NOW." Alice hissed.

The woman jumped and nodded.

"Err, yes follow me."

Human pace was not fast enough for me.

"Which room is it we're in a hurry!"

"Straight down the hall, left, then left again, it's the last room at the end."

"Thanks." I said sourly.

Me and Alice flew down the hall, left, left again. Straight down the hall.

Bella's heart faltered. I gasped, a moment after Alice did.

"Edward, I love you." Bella croaked.

And then, Bella died.


	28. Harold

**STILL EDWARDS POV.**

**Chapter song - Catch me (Demi Lovato)**

_But your so hypnotising, _

_You got me laughing while I sing,_

_You got me smiling in my sleep,_

_And I can see this unravelling._

_Your love is where I'm falling…_

_*_

"Hurry!" Alice hissed. "It still might work."

I shook my head in disagreement but I kept running for my Bella. Bella. The only one who kept me sane. My love, my core existence, my soul.

She had me wrapped around her little finger, and she didn't even know it. She didn't even know how much she meant to me. Her love for me wasn't a patch on what I feel for her.

"Edward." Harold said when I ran in.

"Hurry! You have to hurry! Quick!" I told him, laying my broken Bella in front of him.

"Edward. She's dead…" He mumbled.

I looked up at him. "I know that! But you still have to do it! You have to try! Harold you don't know how much she means to me!"

Harold frowned. "It will work but…why?"

"Do it!" I shouted.

"As you wish." Harold said, sitting down beside my Bella.

He put one hand on either side of her face. Her beautiful face.

"How old do you have in mind?"

"Eighteen."

"Which was how long ago?"

How old was Bella? I did the mental math…Sixty. Sixty take away eighteen is…

"Forty-Two years ago."

Harold nodded and closed his eyes.

The transformation was amazing. I saw every stage of Bella's life as she stayed in front of me. At first her wrinkles slowly relaxed, and her face grew more younger, her hair went grey but then slowly went her beautiful, wavy, brown. Her lips became more full, her face more relaxed, her face even more beautiful than it was…

Bella's heart restarted and I gasped.

Slowly, it went back to a normal humans pace and her eyes fluttered open.

Her warm chocolate brown eyes locked on mine and she smiled. She looked around and noticed we were all watching her and blushed. I had missed that blush.

"There you go." Harold said, taking his hands from Bella's face.

Bella looked at me and I had the urge to reach out and stroke her blushing cheek. A temptation which I couldn't resist.

I stroked her smooth, soft cheek and she took my hand.

"What happened?" She asked.

I took her and crushed her into a tight hug. "You died Bella. I thought you'd left me forever."

"How am I alive…still?" She asked.

"This is Harold." I told her.

She turned, slowly, and saw Harold. I saw the little mark in between her eyebrows form and she gasped. She held her hand up in front of her face, and examined it.

"I'm not old anymore…" She mumbled. Then she looked up at Harold, "You did this?"

He nodded.

"Thank you."

"It's okay. I haven't used my power in a while…" He shrugged.

"And I'm alive, how?" She asked, turning back to me.

I smiled. "You weren't dead at eighteen."

"Oh!" Understanding flashed in her face.

"Let's go. We need to get you back to the house." I said, slinging her onto my back, she locked her arms around me, I looked back at Harold. "Thanks, again."

He just smiled and I turned and ran. With Bella on my back and Alice on my tail.

**A/N: THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY ! X**


	29. POV SWITCH! perfect

**BELLA'S POV (NOT Bella wolf. NANNY Bella) **

**Lol, that's confusing ****J**** x**

**Chapter song - Fight for this love (Cheryl Cole)**

*

I was dead.

I cant tell you exactly what it was like. I felt warm, fuzzy, safe, cold, alone…

Then my heartbeat was starting again. I felt different, stronger? I could start to hear the mumbling of voices and the feeling of someone's hands on my cheeks. Then my eyes fluttered open.

Edwards golden eyes stared back at me.

They were filled with such, intensity, longing, desire? I couldn't put my finger on it.

I was aware that many people were watching me. I blushed, and whoever was holding my cheeks let go and said "There you go.".

Edward slowly reached out and stroked my cheek, I fought the urge to take his hand, and lost.

Edward smiled and I smiled back, happily.

"What happened?" I asked.

Suddenly I was in Edwards arms. I shuddered, happily though. I had missed his touch. Missed his cold embrace. His strong arms. Marble, yet soft.

"You died Bella. I thought you'd left me forever." He whispered, his voice broke at the end.

I thought about that for a second.

"How am I alive…still?"

He pulled away slightly to look at my face. "This is Harold." he said, gesturing towards a man who looked in his mid-thirties.

I frowned. And then my eyes widened, I lifted one hand to my face, slowly, to examine it. There were no wrinkles, I was not fragile, I was stronger, not older.

I nearly cried with joy.

"I'm not old anymore…" I paused. "You did this?" I asked him, barely getting the words out.

He nodded.

"_Thank you_."

"It's okay, I haven't used my powers in a while…" He shrugged.

"And I'm alive, how?" I asked, turning back to my beautiful Edward.

He grinned. "You weren't dead at eighteen."

"Oh!"

I was alive.

I was young.

And most importantly, I was in _love _with Edward.

And I could be with him…forever.

Edward slung me onto his back and turned back to Harold to say thanks, I smiled warmly at him, and then Edward ran.

I fit snugly into his shoulder, but not closing my eyes, this time I kept them wide-open. Grinning. After thirty seconds we were outside, and speeding away in the car. Alice driving.

"Where are the others?" I asked, as Edward pulled me into his arms.

"In another car." He smirked, "I was in a bit of rush, wanting to change you before you died, they weren't quick enough, they're following now, though."

I caught Alice's eye in the mirror. "Alice!" I jumped and hugged her, awkwardly because of the seat separating us.

I let go and leaned back into Edward. I sighed in relief.

"What?" He asked, and I looked up at him.

"Nearly everything's perfect again."

Edward chuckled and I laughed too. The sound felt weird, odd, because I hadn't laughed in so long. I felt weightless, laughing.

"Are you tired?" He asked, suddenly.

"Nope." I said, shaking my head.

Edward caught a lock of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. It was a very small, minute gesture. Yet it still left me breathless and I nearly forgot Alice was still in the car.

"Breathe, Bella." He told me.

I blushed, and took a deep breath. There was something I wanted to say.

"I love you." I told him, looking into his eyes.

"I love you more."

Then gently, he pressed his marble lips to mine.

**A/N: Next chapter up soon ****J**** x**


	30. AN: News

**Hi guys : ( **

**Am sorry, it's bad news.**

**At least I didn't leave it at a cliff-hanger, eh? **

**Well, as you can probably tell by my lack of update, I cannot update.**

**I have no way of being able to upload anything or writing anything new because I have no access to a computer… (I'm on my friends one at the moment, and I cant steal hers…)**

**Basically. I broke my laptop.**

**Not on purpose! It was a complete accident that I really, truly, regret. And one, that will cost my dad quite a bit of money. I dropped it :/ and the screen's sorta…broke. **

**Sorry! And I just hope you understand how sorry I am!**

**My laptop wont be fixed until some time after the new year…I'm really angry about that. And sorry.**

…**.hope you can learn to forgive me? **

****

**- Elliewelly1 **


	31. I don't want anymore angst

**A/N: I AM SO HAPPY! MY DAD HAS FIXED MY LAPTOP AND SURPRISED ME WITH IT (: !!!!**

**Hope this Chapter might make up for my lack of update? I tried to make it nice and long, I've noticed i've been getting shorter recently x**

**Chapter song - You and I (Anarbor)**

*

The journey back was quick, fast, short. Edward didn't let go of me once, he was constantly kissing my hair, my cheeks, my forehead…

We arrived at the big white house, which had changed my life. In so many ways. Mostly bad. My stomach did three leaps and I suddenly felt very sick.

"Are you going to change me…now?" I asked in a small voice as me and Edward jumped out the car.

Edward couldn't stop the grimace that flashed across his face. "Yes," He answered, "Why wait…?"

I bit down on my lip, suddenly nervous.

Why was I like this? Years ago I would have been arguing, fighting, doing anything to do what was about to be done. Why, suddenly, was I nervous? Why did I not _want _it to be now? Had I gotten over Edward? Did I think of him as a monster now?

"Can…can we talk?" I asked him.

"Sure." He said, turning to look at me.

"In…private."

"Where is private?"

"Well, I was hoping to go back to my house first?" I suggested.

He shrugged and he got into the drivers seat of the car.

"Uh, Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"Could we run there, I've missed that…" I admitted, blushing.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile and I stopped breathing and stared at him like an imbecile, he helped me up onto his back and I snuggled into his shoulder. Eyes wide open.

And we were flying.

Edward flew gracefully into the forest; and I felt weightless. Free. Alive again. It didn't matter that Edward had left me, it didn't matter that I was now physically as old as my granchildren, all that mattered to me in the world right now, was me and Edward.

Shyly, I removed one hand from the choke-hold I had on him and held it out; feeling the wind rush between the gaps of my fingers, I lifted my head slightly and the wind whipped its way through my hair. Blowing the separate strands behind me in a uncontrollable manner. I giggled and Edward turned to stare back at me. I didn't even bother to tell him to look ahead; because I knew he wouldn't. He watched me, his eyes light with curiosity as I laughed freely into the wind then he chuckled, shaking his head.

We were outside my house within what seemed literally a minute. Which it probably had been. It wasn't long enough for me, I wanted to feel the exhilaration and adrenaline rush through me again. It had been the first time in a while I had felt _anything._

"Edward" I said as he set me down on his feet.

"Yes Bella?" He asked, taking my hand.

I grinned, "We have to do that again."

He shook his head, grinning "Remember there's always the way back."

I pouted.

I heard him mumble, "Always so stubborn."

"Hey!" I said, hitting him half-heartedly on the arm, because I knew he wouldn't feel it.

He just chuckled and told me to go in.

"Wait." I said holding up one hand, "How did you even know where I lived?"

If Edward could've blushed, he probably would've. "I just wanted to see you _one last time._"

I pulled his face into my hands, "No matter whatever happens to me you must _never _do anything to hurt yourself, okay?"

"What would you do, if it was in reverse?"

"That's different."

It looked like he was going to argue but I silenced him with a kiss. "For once, I just want to forget everything besides me and you. Is that okay?"

He looked at me warily and nodded, I grinned.

Edward opened my door for me.

"I swear I locked that?" I mumbled, my uncertainty turning it into a question.

Edward pushed me back and sniffed the air, then sighed. "Bella was here."

My eyes widened and I pushed past Edward; heading straight towards my bedroom.

There were traces of Bella here. There were footprints from her muddy shoes from where she always forgot to wipe her feet, she didn't mean to be messy, she just forgot. Her jacket was hung on the coat rack beside my from my front door from where she always absentmindedly hung it. And sitting on the table on the right of my front door, underneath the coat rack, was Bella's key to my house. Taken off her keyring with her other keys.

"Bella?" Edward said behind me.

I didn't stop to look at him, instead I took a step into my old bedroom.

Everything was how I had left it. My one window open, but with the curtains shut, lampshade on, so that it would appear that someone was still here and nobody would break in. My bed was made, the pale blue sheets like a hospital bed pulled tightly across and the pillows plumped. My shelves empty, with my only possession, a diary, on my bedside table. It was the diary I had started writing a year after Edward left. The main light was switched off, I switched it on.

Two things were different in this room.

My wardrobe was wide-open, and bare, I had left it shut when I left. I walked closer and noticed that the note I had left, for when I die, was gone. I spun on my heel, confused, and saw Edward watching me carefully. Then my eyes fell on a small piece of paper, lying shyly on the end of the bed.

I walked over slowly, more slower than I had _ever _walked before. Worse than when Edward had left me, stumbling around in the woods, searching for him.

This time was different. I didn't know what I was looking for. I knew what the note held, I had wrote it, but I didn't know what the reaction had been towards it. I wasn't looking for anything. But all the same, my feet moved like they were strapped to a ton of bricks as I moved sluggishly to the end of my bed. I sat down and Edward was by my side in a flash, he reached across for the note.

"It has your scent on it?" He questioned, sniffing it.

"I wrote it." I told him.

He nodded, his face unusually smooth.

"Why did you write it?"

"Why dont you read it?" I asked. He was always the gentleman.

He shrugged, "May I?"

I nodded, and he scanned the note in a matter of seconds. I swear if Edward could cry, he probably would've. There were unshed tears in his eyes, that would never fall.

"Bella, I will never let anything hurt you again."

I nodded and he took my hand. "It stinks of her too, her tears." He added quietly.

I held back my sobs, and decided to change the subject. My life had been to much depression and angst. Edward was back now, he had completed me again, I should be almost happy now.

_Almost._

Only almost, because Edward had left me broken and Bella had fixed me, after more people had repeatedly broken me aswell. So now I needed two people in my life more than before, my heart had grown, and I needed two people who I loved the most to fill it.

"Edward." I mumbled, looking into his eyes, "I love you-"

"I love you more." He teased.

I rolled my eyes, "Let me finish."

He nodded.

"Please, Edward, listen, talk this through with me okay, don't just do what you always do and walk away from this." I placed both hands on his face, "I want to...do something before I change."

"What is that?" He asked, his eyes wary.

I kissed him roughly on his lips and he caught up with my mind, taking my wrists and pulling away, "Bella, please."

"Edward, Don't. You. Wont. Hurt. Me."

"But I could-"

I interrupted him with another kiss, pushing him down onto the bed.

And for once, Edward surrendered.


	32. Bump

**A/N: My update's are going to be slower than usual; I'm trying to make them longer and I'm going back to school in…3 days :/ I want more days off school! I haven't been able to update as much as I wanted to!*Runs off and cries in a corner***

**Argh, I hate school, but don't we all? **

**Chapter song- Band Aid (Pixie Lott)**

**"When I hurt,  
When I break,  
You are my band aid"**

**

* * *

**

(Still Bella's POV)

This was...bliss.

It had been a week. Me and Edward, alone. I blushed as I tried to sleep, thinking of how i'd _tried _to sound seducing. It didn't sound like it should've in my opinion, but either Edward was just being a gentleman, or it actually worked.

Edward stroked my cheek, "What are you blushing for?"

"No reason." I replied, blushing more.

He sighed, "What I wouldn't do to be able to read your mind. Even if it was only for a moment."

I grinned, "I'm glad."

He rolled his eyes at me and I heard the buzzing of a mobile ("Cell" Phone, we call them mobiles in England, hehe) on the bedside table. Edward reached over for his and looked at the caller ID. Then his eyes narrowed. "Alice?" I said into the phone.

Alice said something and his grip on me tightened, "Well...she's not in danger in anyway. What do you see?"

I looked at him, curious, he just shook his head at me.

"Er...we'll be back in a minute....Yeah...Alright, yeah...Bye."

Edward's phone snapped shut, "What did she want?" I asked immeadietly.

He looked like he wasn't going to tell me at one point, but then his expression shifted and he sighed.

"Your future has suddenly become...hazy. She can't see you as clearly as usual. She see's you in pain, and then your future disappears."

I frowned, "Why?"

He shrugged, and held my face in his hands, "I dont know. But I wont let _anything _happen to you."

I smiled, "I know."

Edward kissed me lightly on the lips, getting rougher, making my breathing uneven.

I gave up on sleeping.

(Two Days later)

"Ugh." I moaned, as I was violently sick, again.

Edward pulled my hair back and rubbed my back. I moaned again and vomited into the toilet again. I took a deep breath to try and steady myself and then sighed. I reached out for the toilet handle and flushed the toilet, I stared into the flushing water for a while and sighed. Standing up and grabbing my toothbrush.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, for the third time.

"Like I said, yes, yes I am okay. Stop worrying, I obviously just have a bug."

"Yet you haven't been out this room in...well, a long time. So where would you catch a bug?"

"I dunno?" I replied, rubbing my stomach.

I froze, and Edward noticed.

My hand traced my stomach again, and I felt the tiny bump in my stomach. I traced it again. Again. Again. And Again. My mouth opened and closed, like a goldfish. Again. Again. Again, and again.

I pulled my t-shirt up and walked over to the full-length mirror in my room, Edward following me in confusion.

I stood in front of the mirror, and looked closely. I could see a tiny, small, bump jutting out in the middle of my stomach. I traced it again, and then looked up, and saw Edward's eyes watching me, reflected in the mirror. He was confused, he wasn't _looking. _He was probably too busy watching my face.

I was just about to count the days since I last had my period, and stopped. Realising that had been _years, _there was no way I could know. Maybe it was just a reaction to the bug, or maybe I had always been this big and I had never noticed it? It must be, I had only ever "slept" with a vampire. It had only been a week. If I was...pregnant, then I wouldn't be showing yet, and besides, vampires can't have children. They can't. If they could, Rosalie would have done it, surely. She would've. She would do anything for a child. So vampires...they couldn't have children. What _was _wrong with me then? It must be the bug. It must be.

Edward's hands caught my wrist. "_Please, _tell me what your thinking."

I pulled away and pulled my t-shirt up again. "_Look, _Edward. I have a bump in my stomach, what can that be?"

His eyes narrowed. "Some weird bug. It must be." He mumbled.

My eyes widened, "Edward, Edward I think-"

"No!" His eyes, blazing, met mine, "No, that isn't possible!" He hissed.

I flinched away from him. "Vampire _women _can't have children. Their bodies are frozen, they need to change to become pregnant, men never change..." I gasped, "Edward _i'm _human, _i'm _changing. I _must _be. Edward I dont think this is any bug."

He waved his hand, "Regardless, you wouldn't be _showing._"

"How many times have you met a woman pregnant with a vampire's child?" I questioned, sarcastically.

His teeth ground together audibly and he shook his head, "This can't be."

"Edward, i've been sick _every _morning, pregnant women have morning sickness dont they? And then...i've been eating so much more, and the cravings, all those _eggs. _Oh! Edward! I'm _pregnant." _I gasped, jumping a little.

Just on cue, my baby kicked the side of my stomach, I gasped and clutched onto my right side.

"Bella?" Edward asked, panicked.

"He's strong, just like his daddy." I gasped.

Edward laid me carefully down onto the bed. "I would say I would pack you some clothes but...you dont have any. That would fit you anyway. Alice will have plenty. I'll just go grab your toothbrush and other essentials..." He mumbled, racing out the room.

"Where are we going Edward?" I asked, sitting up slowly.

"To see Carlisle, he'll know. We'll deal with this." He called back, but I strained to hear.

"My baby...My little nudger." I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Don't worry Bella, it'll be over soon." He said, suddenly appearing at the door, with my washbag in his hand.

"Be over?" I squeaked.

He frowned, "Bella, we don't know what that thing is..."

"It's not at thing! It's your baby!" I cried.

Then I gasped, and clutched at my side again. My little nudger didn't get his name for nothing.


	33. Rosalie

**A/N: I was about to say something and then realised that some people haven't read Breaking Dawn. Well, if you haven't and you don't want to know what happens between Edward and Bella in it I would recommend not reading anymore. My story isn't going to follow Breaking Dawn, but the "bump" thing is in Breaking Dawn and something happens so... yeah ;]**

**(:**

**Chapter song- The Middle (Demi Lovato)**

**[Music is my inspiration, yeah, that sounded cheesy]**

**"I wanna crash,  
I wanna fall,  
I wanna be somewhere in the middle,  
Somewhere in the middle.  
Something,  
It's better than nothing,  
I just need a little,  
I just need a little cause I,  
Don't wanna be nowhere,  
But somethings makin' me go there,  
Somewhere in the middle with you"  
**

**

* * *

**

The drive to Edwards house was silent. I sat, my eyes glaring out the window, with my arms across my chest. Edward sighed every now and then and called me, telling me it was for the best, that he had to do this, that he couldn't let it kill me. Everytime I went to tell him that my baby wouldn't kill me, he would just tell me I didn't know. But I did. I knew, there was a feeling in my stomach and an irritating thought lashing out in the back fo my head, telling me that my own baby would never kill me.

"I thought you weren't a monster." I said quietly as I got out the car, "Guess I was wrong."

Edward's face twisted up in pain, "Bella, that's not fair."

"I'm totally justified in saying that."

"No you're _not _Bella. I would be a monster if I let you keep this...this _thing _inside of you."

I snorted, "And why would that be?"

"It could kill you." He stated.

"And it could _not _kill me aswell. Besides, it has your genes, it'll be kind, caring, humane-"

"Bella!" Edward growled, "Do you actually _listen _to yourself!"

I stared back at him, wide-eyed. My mouth opened a little. I scrambled to think of what to say. "Don't take this out on _me!_" I blurted out.

"Oh yeah?" He cried, "Well then Bella, tell me, who should I blame?"

I shrugged, "There's nothing to blame for"

"Ugh. We are not having this conversation."

"I say we are!" I argued.

Edward just picked me up in his arms and walked in his natural vampire-speed-way into his house. Alice's eyes were the first I found and she kept frowning, her eyes glazing over as she obviously tried to search for my future. Would this pregnancy affect her visions? Because it wasn't only my future that she now looked for when she looked for mine, because it was two. Mine and my baby's future's. I looked away and met Esme's worried gaze; I felt guilty for no reason and I looked away quickly, finding Rosalie's eyes next.

Rosalie was curled up in a ball, leaning into Emmett, and her arms hugging her knees. Her long blonde hair fell in gentle, soft waves and her perfection hit me again. Emmett was smirking and had a arm slung lazily over Rosalie's shoulder.

Edward set me down on the ground and took my hand, I yanked it back childishly and crossed my arms over my chest. Emmett found this funny and Edward sighed.

Suddenly, Rosalie's eyes widened and she unwrapped her arms from around her knees and jumped up. Emmett looked up at her, startled, but she waved him off.

Even Emmett wasn't smirking as Rosalie gracefully walked over to me, her high-heels clicking with the floor, everyone's eyes on her. And for once, they weren't on her because of her beauty. I could feel my heart pounding in my _throat_ and small drips of sweat matted the top of my hair to my forehead. And then, Rosalie took my hand and pulled me away from Edward.

"I need to talk to Bella." She told him, and he snarled.

Rosalie took me up in her arms, and we dashed up the stairs.

* * *

**_DISCLAIMER_**

(i forgot to do this before hehe); I do **not **own twilight. I **wish **i did, 'cause then I would be very rich **^-^ **and famous.

Eh, yeah, I have no cool way of saying that. xD

**A/N: yeah, this one's pretty short, but eh...the next one SHOULD be longer.**

**I'm thinking, review. Lots. If you want another update from me today? (; **

**Mwuahha, i love blackmail!**


	34. You'd rather see me dead? Thanks

****

A/N: Okay Okay, you got my reviews to 130. I think you deserve this. Haha. So, what does Rosalie want? We shall see!

**Chapter song- Meet me halfway (Black eyes peas)**

**I love you guys (: **

* * *

Rosalie set me down on my feet again and the world spun at an odd angle, I clutched my head until the spinning stopped.

Rosalie smiled at me, a genuine smile, which I have to admit...shocked the hell out of me. Rosalie had never once liked me as far as I could remember, she had never shown any friendliness towards me like the rest of Edwards family had. In fact, she had been totally the opposite. She hated me. I wasn't even quite sure why. Edward, being the gentleman he was, refused to tell me what it was that repulsed Rosalie so much about me. He would always just smile and say that he didn't know. Of course, that was obviously a big lie, but eventually I just let it go.

Rosalie gestured towards my little bump. She had obviously jumped to conclusions, which had been right, and seen my bump. My eyes widened in shock and I realised that was why there was suddenly so much friendliness rolling off Rosalie. She was on my side.

She wanted a baby. She had always wanted a baby. She had hated me because I was giving up that, with the decision to become like Edward. She was in this with me, because now I had something she wanted, I was making the same decision as she would.

I sighed in relief. On cue, again, my little nudger nudged me in the side. I gasped and Rosalie was by my side in a flash, "What's wrong?" She asked, in a caring voice.

I shook my head, "He doesn't like sudden movements." I told her, she grinned in response.

Rosalie guided me to the couch and I sat down, nervous. Even though I knew the reason behind her sudden kindness. I took at deep breath and looked up at her, "You've _got _to stop them from killing my baby."

Rosalie tilted her head to the side and grinned, "Edward doesn't like that idea" and then her face fell a little, "Aren't you the one who follows his orders?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you know, you usually do anything for Edward as long as it makes him happy," She fidgeted uncomfortably on the couch, "Plus, I didn't take you as a baby person...you were willing to give it up before."

I bit my lip, careful not to bite to hard. She was right, why? Why this baby? Why didn't I do what Edward said? I was willing to give it all up before, be selfish, and give it all up. I was willing to trade off any human in me so I could be with, have, love Edward forever. Well, the rest of my existence. So why did I suddenly feel so attached to this baby? Why would I go against Edward? When, we had been through so much, and I didn't want to fight, when I thought I would do anything for him?

I shrugged, "I don't know why...but I can't kill this, baby. I still haven't figured that out myself."

"Bella, I can't promise you anything, but i'll try." She said softly.

I looked up at her, my vision slightly blurred. I realised I was crying, and dabbed at the tears with my sleeve. Rosalie studied me, "You need more clothes." She smiled.

Suddenly there was a small little tornado in the room. Alice.

"Clothes?" She asked.

I giggled, "Yes Alice, I need more clothes."

Alice's eyes light up, and she danced out the room, shouting "Be right back Bella!", over her shoulder.

Rosalie looked at me, and rolled her eyes. I smiled and shrugged, "There's no stopping Alice."

"I agree!" She said.

I sighed. I bet I was in big trouble with Edward. I knew the others must be able to hear, because Alice had heard. Even though she seemed to have a built-in radar detector for whenever anyone mentioned clothes, shopping, or well...shoes? Anything.

I needed to think. About this. About everything. Edward. The Cullens. Bella...My Baby. Wow. Okay, yeah, that seemed really weird now that I thought about it, that Bella would have a new uncle...that my son and my daughter would have a new brother. The fact that I was even having a baby at this age still shocked me. How would they feel? Especially since my Emmett and my Bella were wolves; and my baby was going to be half-human-half-vampire. Well, it was going to be wasn't it? Would my Bella never take me back? Understand why I left? When she finds out i'm pregnant and, in physical appearance, the same age as her? That i'm carrying her half-mortal enemy?

That I was back with Edward? That I was going to be a vampire...one way or another?

Why did I want this babay so much, anyway? I had had my time...I had already had children. Why?

And why was Edward so opposed to my baby? _His _baby?

I gasped aloud, and Rosalie looked at me, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said, shaking my head, "I just realised something."

"Oh." Was her response.

It was because it was _Edward's _baby that I didn't want to kill it. I always loved anything that was from him, related to him, anything he even touched. It was _his _baby I carried at this moment in my life. Not just some random, not just some man who claimed to love me, not someone who used me...no, it was someone who I loved. Someone who loved me too, someone who I had fallen for too many times. This was a creation of Edward. It was half of Edward, and Edward was perfect, so this baby was going to be perfect to because it was half him. And you don't come across perfection a lot. I loved Edward. And I guess...I was already attached with my baby, in love with something I don't know.

Alice breezed back into the room and her and Rosalie left me to get changed. I dressed in a daze, not even looking at what Alice had chose for me to wear until I was at the top of the stairs. Self-consiously, I looked down and saw I was wearing a blue top, (Edward's favourite colour on me), with ruffle's around the collar. With dark skinny jeans, and plain black boots that reached just under the knee. Not quite my choice of clothing, but it was better than _some _of the things that Alice possesed.

Everyone was staring at me as I desended the stairs, I felt very self-consious and nearly tripped several times, catching onto the handrail before hitting the steps. When I reached the bottom Edward flashed to my side and took my hand. I glared at him, but he looked at Alice. "What was the point in dressing her?"

Alice laughed, "She said she needed clothes."

Edwards eyes narrowed at me and my stomach twisted. Slowly, it dawned on me _why _I wouldn't need more clothes.

"No!" I cried, yanking my hand out of Edwards grip, "I told you! I told you Edward, damn it!"

"Bella, calm down." He soothed, rubbing my left arm soothingly.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed at him, taking a step back and hitting my head on the wall. I blinked twice and suddenly my view was blocked. What the hell?

"Edward. She doesn't want to do this, she wants her baby." I heard Rosalie mutter.

I looked closer at what was in front of me and saw Rosalie standing protectively in front of of _me. _Carlisle had a hand on Edward's shoulder and Esme was standing next to Rosalie, giving her warning glances. Alice was in the background, and gave Jasper a look. A moment after, calmness radiated out of me and Edwards jaw unclenched. Emmett sighed dramatically and walked over to Rosalie.

"Chill, babe." He said.

Rosalie sounded like she hissed, but she straightened up slightly.

"I don't see why she should have to get rid of it anyway, she wants to keep it. It's only a baby for crying out loud! Besides, I like the idea of being an uncle." Emmett shrugged, turning to grin at me. I smiled hugely back.

"Emmett has a point." I said, and Rosalie mumbled in agreement.

Edward shook his head, "No, he doesn't."

Esme looked back and forth between me and Edward. "Edward...it's what she wants. And you can't know that it'll hurt her. I'll agree there's a possibilty, but there's also a possibility that he or she will hurt Bella." She said slowly, assessing Edward's reaction.

Edward shook his head, "It's not worth the risk."

"Yes, it is Edward." I said, everyone turned when I spoke, "We can finally be a family. I mean, that's what you wanted, once before, you wanted to be human. So we'd be able to grow up and have kids. You told me once, when we were younger. Well, here's your chance."

"No, I'm not taking this chance if there's a chance you could die."

"Edward-"

"Bella, he's right." Alice chimed in, "I can't see your future anymore, since your little talk with Rosalie upstairs." She stopped to glare at Rosalie, "Your future isn't even hazy anymore, it's just disappeared."

"I thought about that, and I believe that it's because...well, you were a human, you are a vampire. You can see them well, but not the wolves...because you've never been one. And this baby," I gestured to my stomach, "Is half-human, half-vampire, right?"

"Oh!" Alice said, "Well, I guess your right." She turned to look at Edward, "I see nothing wrong with it now."

Edward cussed under his breath and tore his arm away from Carlisle. I saw him dash up the stairs angrily and I sighed. "I guess I should go talk to him."

I started to ascend the stairs and I noticed Rosalie was following me, "Uh...Rosalie? No offence but, why are you following me?"

Rosalie smiled, "Actualy, dont worry." Then she walked back down the stairs.

Confusing much?

I moved sluggishly towards Edwards room at the end of the hall. The interior decoration was the same as it had been years ago. In my time of happiness.

"Edward?" I took a step into his room.

I didn't even take the time to look around the room; the only thing I could see was the burning man sitting on the couch. **(SOFA! But I choose to go american on ya'll! Howdy! -What? I think of people from Texas when I think of Americans, haha, *smiles sheepishly*)**

"Edward, this will be okay. I know it!" I said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Tell me Bella, what was the point of me even saving you?"

My smile fell slightly, "So that we could be together, forever."

"Then why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything, Edward, it's only a baby."

"Only a _baby?_" His head jerked up, "Bella, you said it yourself, it's half-human-half-vampire. It's part _vampire. _Come on, Bella! Don't you get what will happen?"

"It wont." I said firmly.

Edward was silent for a while, shaking his head, giving me a look like made me feel guilty. Well Edward, I did nothing wrong, I thought.

"I thought saving you from death would make us both happier." He said quietly, "I guess I was wrong."

"Are you saying you'd rather see me dead?"

Edward gave me an exasperated look, "I'd rather you died of cancer, which it was not my fault. Than...this."

"You regret saving me?" I asked in a small voice.

"In a way. Yes." He said slowly.

I swallowed back the bile that came to my throat.

I had been wrong, Edward didn't love me. Or at least, he didn't love me enough to see it _my _way.

"Fine then!" I snapped, "You go enjoy your life! You just run along now! I have _all _the family Ineed."

Edward growled, "Fine then."

"This," I gestured towards my stomach, "Is all I need in my life right now. I've lived _without _you long enough to know you aren't everything to me anymore, and that it's _possible._"

Edward stayed still and I stormed downstairs and out the door, ignoring the cries of "Bella!" behind me.

For once in my life, I was _happy _Edward was gone.

**A/N: There probably wont be an update tomorrow? Its my last day of breakk and me and my friend are going out; and i'll need an early night so...sorry for cliffhanger ahaha :D**


	35. I don't want to feel anything anymore

****

A/N: Hehe, I tried to make this one long too (: It's so friggin' hard to try and make the chapters long and I really dont know why ahah, i guess I just run out of things to say...hm.. it's hard anyway, cause nobody ever knows what was going through Bella's head when she went through the pregnancy in breaking dawn ;P

Chapter Song; Dont talk about this love (Cheryl Cole)

* * *

My feet trudged through the familiar squishing mud. _Trust Alice to give me heeled-boots. _I thought.

I stomped my way away from the Cullens house. Aimed towards the forest, not sure on my course, past reason to care. I looked back on the house, the house of...heartbreak. I knew what it felt like to be alone, I knew what it felt like to go through this, I knew what it was like when Edward left. But it was different now; I had left him.

The ferns carressed my face as I pushed past them, like the caring soft marble hands, that used to trace my lips, as I sat staring breathless at him. At Edward. I growled at the memory and slammed past the ferns, they snapped back, hissing like he always did when he was angry...

I kicked the leaves, freshly fallen from the trees of the winter, why did I always think about him? Why did everything remind me of him?

Damn it Edward, I thought, why am I so in love with you?

I trudged on through the muddy wetness, the fallen leaves crackling underneath my boots, the noise echoing in the silence that followed. I wasn't sure which direction I was headed, and now that I looked back I couldn't even see the opening between the trees, I was too far in now. No turning back. Way in out of my depth, and i'm not talking about the forest.

My breathing came out in whisps of white clouds, from the cold winter air. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered, wishing for a miracle. I stopped and scanned the trees, half-expecting Edward to be there. From what I thought I knew of Edward, he always followed, cared, protected me. Stupid, irrogant vampire.

The sound that came out of me automatically when I realised Edward wasn't here sounded like a strangled cry.

I laughed, this was it, I was finally free. This forest, had endless possibilties of how I could end myself. I laughed again, at my dark humour, but the sound was odd. Strangled.

I moved my hands from my shoulders and held my stomach protectively. I would wait until my baby was born. I could leave it on their steps maybe...then run. Not just run, be free, be ended. Finally. I sighed in relief. I had waited for a chance to die. I realised I did not deserve to be happy; that is why life would not let me keep Edward. Would not allow him and I to be together. Would not allow Bella to understand. My Bella. I sighed. Bella.

I needed her.

In the corner of my vision, I saw a huge oak tree, but it had fallen over. Leaning down perfectly as a chair. I found my way over to it and ran my hands along the bark, remembering the times Edward and me used to climb the trees...

_Do NOT think of him Bella!_

I gritted my teeth together and pulled myself up upon the log, brushing bugs out of the way. I curled up in a ball, and rocked. Back and forth.

I tried not to think of anything, I didn't want to think. I wanted to go back to the numbness I felt when he left me for the first time, the shell I had made for myself. The emptyness.

I must have been sitting there for quite some time; because after a few hours the light began to dim. I could feel the claustrophobia creeping up on me; I hated it. I didn't want to _feel _anything. My breathing became quick rasps, I tried to hold myself together, I scrambled to find a way to do so. I sat there for some time before I remembered. Then I wrapped my arms around myself and prayed for it to stop.

E M P T Y D A R K N E S S E N G U L F S M E

* * *

**Look what my friend sent me!;**

**97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there eating pop corn screaming "DO A FLIP! **

**How funny :D**

**A/N: I STRUGGLE TO WRITE A LONG CHAPTER WHEN I TELL MYSELF I'M NOT ALLOWED SPEECH ;D SORRY! x**


	36. Dreaming in the darkness

**A/N: Hey! I'm back! The updates are going to be so much more slower compared to before 'cause of school and i'm trying to make these longer :D I can't think of how many more chapters there is going to be, i mean, i know what's going to happen but I haven't _planned it via chapters _ahha :D **

**But, today I have/had no school, 'cause of all the snow, some reason England can't cope with one inch of snow, so imagine how crazy everyone goes when there's TWO inches of snow, lmao! :D**

**Au revior! (?..hm)**

**Chapter Song: Trainwreck (Demi Lovato) **

**"You're A Trainwreck,  
****But I wouldn't love you if you changed" 3**

* * *

_As the darkness englufed me I dreamt. As I dreamt I found Edward. As I found Edward I pushed him away._

_My dream suddenly became very cold._

_Edwards beautiful bronze hair was whipped by the wind, but despite the raging wind he stood there, like a stone. He reached two arms out to me, I wasn't sure wether they were to embrace me, or to hold me down. I decided not to take a chance. He took a large step forward, closing the distance between us, and I stumbled backwards. Edward unleashed the unfair beauty of his eyes, as he stared at me pleadingly, lovingly. I caught all of his emotions, all his feelings, in his eyes and I took and involuntary step towards him._

_I found his cold hands and intertwined my fingers with his, Edward leaned closer to me and let go of my hands to wrap them around my waist. Mine automatically wrapped round his neck and I stood up onto my toes. I was level with his face, and I smiled at him. Edward did not smile back._

_"Please, Bella, do this for me." Was all he said._

_His breath washed over my face and I stopped breathing, trying to understand what he had just said, "Please." He said again._

_He unwound his arms from around my waist and my arms fell from his neck, with his left hand he placed one hand on my stomach. Still looking into my eyes. I shot him a confused glance._

_"You can't keep this Bella." He said again. "Please."_

_My head shook numbly. Left and right, left and right, left and right. No, no I couldn't do this. I couldn't kill his baby. _

_His hand found mine and tried to intertwine ours again, I pulled mine back instantly, and hurt washed across his face. His eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say something, but I covered his mouth with my hand. His teeth clenched together audibly and I shivered, wether it was the cold or Edward I wasn't sure._

_Even though he could easily take my hand away from his mouth, he could even crush it if he wanted, he didn't. Instead his eyes smoldered in an unfair way and he wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning his head into my neck. My hand fell from his face and I wasn't sure wether to push him away or not. I stood, tense as ever, and Edward sighed and pulled away._

_"Don't you love me?" He demanded._

_I stumbled backwards, into a tree, afraid to answer. I knew what I wanted to say, I wanted to tell him how I felt about him. How whenever he left, whenever he's hurt me, it's only made my love for him stronger. That i've never once hated him, that i've never once meant the horrible words i've said. All I ever wanted to do was protect him from the problems I brought along with me. Danger magnet, that was me. He was beautiful, kind, caring, romantic, protective, he was everything pure and good. He was my love, and that was all I could really put the words into. No matter how amazing I described him, no matter how much I told him I loved him, it was not enough to show how much I loved him. There were not words._

_And that was one of the reasons that I kept this baby. It was his. But not only was it his, it was part of him. A token of our love. I needed to show him that I would do absolutely anything for him, I needed to show him how much I loved him. How far I would go. Anything that would keep him happy, except give up this baby. Because I knew really, deep down, he really wanted this baby as much as I did. He knew that a baby wouldn't cause me any harm. He knew it. But he hadn't seen it yet. He was too much of an 'over-thinker' he thought to much about everything, anlysed everything, too much. He didn't see how much joy this could bring us, how much more stronger it would make us. It would finally make us a family, like he had wanted before._

_I took steps backwards, and Edward started to become smaller in my vision. Edward did not chase for me, he didn't even reach out for me. He didn't love me as much as I loved him, but that didn't matter to me. Because love is blind. _

_And as I walked backwards, away from Edward, I knew that this baby was my destiny._

* * *

**Hehe, yeah, that was pretty short right? Sorry, and that was just bella's DREAM btw that didn't actually happen, it was just getting her feelings straight so that you can get into her mind for the next chapter :D**


	37. Moonlight Pond

**A/N: So, here's whats going on with Bella. Sorry it's taken so long to write but I really felt like writing a LONG one :D And I keep doing that thing where your like "Ah, i'll do it in a minute" and then you never do, haah x]**

**There is probably going to be another 3-4 chapters? maybe 5 at the max =]**

**Chapter song: In another life (The Veronicas)**

**_"I got used to living without you,  
Endless phone calls and dreaming about you,  
Always said that you were my man to be,  
But I guess I was in love with your memory,_**

**_You know I love you, I really do  
But I can't fight anymore for you  
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again  
Sometime, in another life"_**

* * *

It wasn't just darkness I _felt _now, it was darkness I _saw_ too. I wasn't sure if it was nightfall. Or my alternate reality.

Drops of rain fell through the thick trees and plopped onto the log I was sat upon. I stared up at what seemed the night sky endlessly. Blanky. I wasn't looking for anything, and I wasn't seeing anything. Rain started to splash around me more ferociously, aggresively, I had never seen rain so angry. My jeans became drenched in rain and my top was luckily silk, so mostly the rain bounced off of it. My black boots were soaked through to my bare feet and I shivered in the cold. Then rubbed my hands on my arms, trying to cause heat by using friction.

What if I caught pneunomia before my baby was born? The thought made me shudder again.

This forest was the same as it had always been. Empty. Frightening. Full of darkness.

This was where Edward had left me all that time ago. This was where I emotionally _died. _This is where I would physically die too. What was the point in spreading myself all over the state, even the country, why not just stick to the one place. Because, when I emotionally died, I might as well have physically died too. So I was just doing fate's job for it.

My matted hair clung to my face in wild strays and I sighed in frustration. I flicked them away with a twist of my head and the sudden movement caused my baby to jump. I gasped and held the left side of my stomach, once my baby recovered from his shock he calmed down and settled back into his original position. I patted my stomach and sighed in relief. Slowly, I pulled the strands of my hair from my face individually. I really regretted not packing anything. How long would it take for these clothes to dry? Would they dry? Forks was one of the rainiest places in America and it rained almost every day. Even if there was no rain, it was never warm. Not warm enough to dry my clothes. And maybe, if there was a miracle, and the sun did come out, and my clothes did dry, I would soon grow out of them. Within nine months I would grow and my stomach would bloat like a baloon, wouldn't it? I didn't really fancy the idea of parading around the forest with no pants on. What would the hikers think?

Then there was food, I was supposed to fend for myself and my baby for _nine months. _Nine freaking months! I couldn't survive here more than two days and I knew that. What was I supposed to do, eat leaves? Twigs? Bark? I was going to go mad, literally, I would have no contact with the outisde world. No social interation whatsoever. How was I supposed to eat for two? How was I even going to deliver this baby? I am no doctor, I don't know the first thing about labour. I don't even know much about babies anyway, of course I had had two of my own, but I don't think I was ever much of a great mother to them. It was mostly Jacob who had taken care of them. Of course I looked after them while Jake was out at work and he would mostly come back to crying babies. I wasn't messed up enough for me to ignore them, I would just be a bit of a mess, not sure what to do, and then zoning out halfway through making them a bottle or something. When I say zoning out I mean when Edward popped into my head, and I would try my best to get him out of it.

My plan suddenly didn't feel so great anymore.

Timidly, I left the log and aimed in the direction I thought I had entered. I stumbled over twigs and sticking out roots that were in my way, I jumped when animals and birds fled when I walked past, which meant so would my baby, and I would end up in pain. The further I went, the more uphill the land seemed to go, and the trees seemed to get thicker. Just as I was about to collapse to the ground and give up, I pushed past the thickest of the branches and stepped into the second most beautiful view I had seen in my life.

It was just like me and Edwards meadow.

Of course, it wasn't exactly the same. It was like a plain feild, with blue and pink flowers and thick grass which reached three inches below my knees. I ventured out to the middle of it, where there appeared to be some sore of dent in the middle of the ground. It looked a couple meters wide but was hidden by the green grass and I looked curiously.

Once it was in my vision I gasped aloud, by now my baby was mostly used to my gasps, so he didn't jump or move about anymore.

Nestled in the middle of the field was a moonlight pool, glistening and waves rolling gently. Surrounding it was what looked like decorative stones, all different shades of colours. Purple, red, green, yellow, white, black, blue...all glittering like the colours of the rainbow. The ones at the end of the pool were the largest and they gradually became smaller as they travelled down the edge of the pool. I was afraid to touch them, they looked so pretty and strong, yet so fragile. I realised I was smiling and I flushed in embarassment, even though nobody was around. Even though I thought it was impossible, I averted my eyes from the pool and saw more multicoloured stones, which looked like they were hiding something. I crawled my way over to them and picked them away one by one, making sure I put them down where they wouldn't be harmed. After a few minutes of this, I came across what looked like a mould in the ground. I traced my finger around the bottom of which I was nearest at and realised that the shape resembled a humans outline. Curiously, I tried it out. It was slightly bigger than my shape, but that made it even comfier. I grinned and suddenly I felt much more warmer.

I turned to my left when sudden inspiration hit me and I grabbed some of the grass. I tied strands of it round itself until it was a tiny ball. The grass was surprisingly strong and I knew that my plan would most likely work. I grabbed more and more grass so that I made a bigger ball and then another small ball. I tied these three together in a line using more grass and then continued to make more.

I did this for several minutes until I had what resembled a pillow. I placed the pillow in the head part of the mould and lay down on it. It wasn't paticulary comfy, but it was better than the ground.

I took a deep breath and fell into my dreams.


	38. Appearances and Dissapearances

**A/N: I have no excuse for not posting this sooner, sorry :D THIS IS JUST A FILLER :D**

**Chapter Song - Cover my eyes (La Roux)**

**_"So would you hold me please?  
_****_I'm trying hard to breathe,  
_****_Stop me from crying..."_**

* * *

I heard rustling coming from the fringes of the trees, I sat upright.

I blinked twice, everything was unusually fuzzy, then looked around and lay back down. Nothing was there.

There was an unnatural breeze. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. _Wake up_, I told myself. I took a deep breath and only then did I realise I had been crying. I dabbed at them with the end of my sleeve, which had dried considerably over the past two days.

What would Edward be doing now?

The question came out of nowhere and shocked me. I froze, then sighed. I knew I was never going to stop thinking about Edward. I loved him. I loved Edward. I loved Edward more than anything. I loved Edward more than the Cullens put together. I loved Edward more than this moonlight pond field. I loved Edward more than my own life.

Why wouldn't he understand?

I sighed and sat up again. My vision wasn't blurred anymore.

Something on my right caught my eye.

A plate of food sat staring at me. It was a fry-up. A very large one at that. My mouth-watered at the sight of the eggs. Somehow, there were a knife and fork tucked next to the plate of food. I grabbed them and dug into my meal. The eggs ran smoothly down my throat and I nearly moaned in pleasure by how delicious they were. I ate the glistening bacon next, savouring every bite. Then the sausages, I mixed those with the beans. I ate this like a pig, I knew I would never act like this before. The forest was already having effects on me.

It didn't seem enough. My stomach rumbled and I rubbed my head, confused. Thinking.

My stomach growled and I lurched forward. Suddenly I was violently sick.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, and my hair hang down, some of my vomit catching in the strands of hair. I moaned. In the silence I heard my retching, and more rustling coming from the trees. It happened each time I retched. I wondered why this was, and was sick again. I needed to stop thinking so much. It wasn't helping with the current situation.

"Oh god." I said clutching my head, and sitting back.

My vomit sat mocking me. It ruined this beautiful place. I would need to find a way to clean it up.

I moved to lay down and my eyes bugged wide as I realised the plate was gone. I spun around, instantly regretting the decision, I clutched my stomach as my baby jumped. Then I was violently sick. Again.

More rustling from the trees.

I sobbed. Endlessly.

I needed Edward back.


	39. Happy Ending?

**A/N: THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!**

**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *RUNS AROUND SCREAMING THROWING PAPERS AND DOING STUFF OUT OF THE ORDINARY!***

**- don't know why i even did that?**

**haha, i'm thinking about doing a _sequel?_ I'll put information at the bottom! :D xx**

**there's _not_a chapter song for this one...because there's lots of different emotions in this chappy haha xx**

**_thanks for all the reviews that you keep giving me; i would've given up at like... chapter 8... if it weren't for you! Be proud!_**

**_Thanks to Cullen0-Lover-101 who has been reviewing the whole way through and makes me laugh :) Thanks to StoryTagger who when he reviews leaves some of the greatest reviews by thinking about the story and what could happen; he's cool :D_**

**Anyway, you don't want to listen to me going on and on and on and on....**

**ON WITH THE CHAPTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! **

* * *

I was weak.

I couldn't even move anymore. The cold winter air wasn't helping much either.

I shuddered in the cold and gagged on the vomit that tried to come up. I was lying on my back and couldnt move. This resulted in me not being able to be sick; and mostly I would choke on it. That wasn't enjoyable.

Every single time this happened I kept hearing that same rustling sound coming from the trees. Every single time my head automatically turned towards the sound. Every single time I looked, I could see nothing. I kept telling myself that I was imagining things; but there was a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I wasn't. Also, I kept having a weird feeling I got when I thought someone was watching me.

I coughed as vomit entered my throat and I attempted to sit up. I managed to half sit-up and was violently sick. But I hadn't eaten anything; so I couldn't understand why I was being sick. I had thought that eating was the main cause of being ill.

More rustling came from the trees.

I froze. All was silent.

"Who's there?" I croaked, looking around, seeing nothing.

Silence.

I was all alone.

I started sobbing as I threw up again. I was exhausted; and I fell asleep.

My dreams were terrifying.

_Edward was there as usual. So was I. We were standing in our meadow, and I smiled and reached out for Edward as he did the same for me. Suddenly, a woman walked past me and up to Edward. She was pale and ice-cold; and was inhumanely beautiful. Even more than Rosalie. She had bright red coloured hair which was dead straight to her waist; and had a slender build. She looked back at me with blood-red eyes and flashed her sharp teeth at me. I flinched away and she laughed in my face._

_Vampire._

_Edward wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. In a way he always did with me. I gagged. The woman laughed._

_"Elodie." He mumbled seductively planting a kiss on her cheek. The woman giggled._

_"Edward." She said in response, her voice like wind chimes._

_Edward looked up to me and grinned evilly. _

_"Edward...you said you loved me." I whispered._

_"Yeah, but you were just so...entertaining. Amusing, maybe. A pathetic, fragile little human. Then I get you knocked up! I need someone to.." He smiled down at who I assumed was Elodie "pleasure me."_

_'knocked up' ? That wasn't Edward's usual choice of words. What happened to his gentleman-like fashion; his old styled language? Why would he suddenly feel this way? How did he know Elodie? _

_Edward grinned. "You know; I've always been able to read your mind, I thought it was more entertaining to pretend I couldn't." He laughed, "I was never a gentlemen, I didn't suddenly feel this way, i've never loved you Bella, and i've known Elodie ever since I left you. You think I just sat around and thought of you all the time? No way, I was with this beautiful, sexy..." His voice came to a whisper as he purred in her ear._

_I blinked. I could feel my heart breaking slowly as I watched him and Elodie kiss. It wasn't the same kiss as Edward did with me. There were no restrictions here, her hands ran freely through Edwards messy bronze hair and he crushed her to him. She pressed herself tighter to him and I saw him smile on her lips. She kissed him again, getting rougher, their breathing uneven._

_I collapsed in a heap on the floor. My heart broken. _

_I heard Edward chuckled and turned my head to see Elodie unbuttoning Edward shirt as he pulled her skirt down, I swallowed back the bile that came to my throat and it sounded like I made a noise like a strangled cry. I snapped my eyes shut and tried to pretend it wasn't there, I tried to tell myself I was dreaming. But my heart was broken, and this dream made so much sense to the unanswered questions in my mind._

_"Edward" I whispered, and a single tear slipped down my cheek._

I screamed and my eyes snapped open. I was cradled in someone's lap. In an instant, they dissapeared.

"Wait, don't go!" I cried, reaching out for them and closing my eyes as tears streaked my cheeks.

I heard the rustling come from the trees. It was louder then usual. That sort-of frightened me in a way, but also my heart seemed to squeeze and butterflies cluttered in my stomach. I wondered why and gave up, thinking was also another thing that cause me to vomit. Bile rose in my throat but I swallowed it down, now was not a time to be sick. Not now, when my visitor was coming closer. I could feel it. I couldn't hear them, but I could feel them coming toward me at a slow pace.

I took a deep breath.

Two sturdy arms pulled me gently into a small embrace.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. Could this really be real?

Very _very s_lowly, I opened my eyes, my head was snuggled into his shoulder and I couldn't see if it was really _him._

I pulled backwards away from him and he let go, sighing. I immediately recognised his sigh and took his face in my hands.

Edward's golden eyes smoldered.

"Edward." I whispered in acknowledgement; then I dropped my hands and backed away.

"Bella." He whispered back; his voice torn.

I shook my head from left to right. Edward eyes narrowed at me and he tilted his head to the left slightly in confusion. Despite the cold, and my weakness, I found the muscles to push myself onto my feet. I put one foot in front of the other one, and attempted to walk away.

Edward was in front of me in a flash, "Careful Bella." He warned me, holding his arms out in front of me to catch me in case I fell.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, my throat dry.

Edward blinked twice, his face surprised, "Bella, I understand if your angry, but-"

"Angry?" I screeched, "ANGRY? I THINK IT'S WORSE THAN THAT EDWARD! HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THAT TO ME EDWARD! HOW COULD YOU?"

His face relaxed and turned pleading, "Bella, I just wanted what was best for you-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP!"

"But Bella, you have to try and see it from my side-"

I snorted, "Yeah, you needed someone to 'please you', and everytime that you left me, everytime you said all that you wanted was what was best for me, you were just sneaking off to Elodie!"

"Elodie?" He repeated.

I bit back the bile that came to my throat. "Edward don't play dumb. You were _right in front of me._ You told me...I quote: "You know; I've always been able to read your mind, I thought it was more entertaining to pretend I couldn't. I was never a gentlemen, I didn't suddenly feel this way, i've never loved you Bella, and i've known Elodie ever since I left you. You think I just sat around and thought of you all the time? No way, I was with this beautiful, sexy..." I stopped to gag and fight back the tears that came.

"Elodie? Who's Elodie? Bella..." Understanding suddenly light upon his expression, "Bella. I think you were dreaming. It was the name that you were...saying while you were sleeping. Well not saying, you were screaming. You scared me to death Bella, well...you know what I mean. I wasn't sure wether to come over or not, but I figured you'd get over it, it was just a dream. But then you started saying my name, and you starting screaming and crying. Bella it was just a dream, trust me on this-"

"Trust YOU!" I exploded, "No Edward! I know what I saw!" But I was having serious doubts.

"You didn't see anything. You were dreaming." He whispered, looking into my eyes, I looked away quickly.

"I don't need you." I mumbled, but it was a terrible lie.

"I know, but I need you. I need us." He countered.

I shook my head, "No you don't Edward. I love you more, you've got to learn to let go of the past, of things that weren't meant to be. We weren't supposed to be. We weren't fate. You, " I jabbed a finger to his chest, "you're the best person I've ever met, the best kind of creature I've met, the most kindest, caring...but me and you, we aren't allowed. You're a vampire. I'm a human. Your the hunter. I'm the prey. Your way out of my 'league' and...I don't need you." I said, the last part untrue, but trying to get him to understand.

He tried to take my hand, and made a strangled cry when mine snapped away.

"Bella I NEED you. I don't care about 'the rules' that you've made up in your head. Which aren't true. You're the better person, in so many ways. I NEED us. I NEED you to be with me forever; because i'm selfish, and your amazing. Bella I realise now, you were right all along..."

I looked up at him and realised I was crying, I sniffed, "About what?"

"About everything. But most importantly, about this baby."

I stared at him open-mouthed, "You want our baby?"

He nodded.

"But...but _why? _You..." I was so confused.

"Because it's _yours. It's a part of you._" He told me.

I grinned, "That's why I want this baby too."

Edward took my hand, "Am I forgiven?"

"There's nothing to forgive." I told him, and leaned into him, he caught my drift and pulled me closer to him so he gently press his marble lips to mine.

He stopped, and I pulled a face. He laughed.

"While we're here..." He mumbled, and pulled me over to the rocks by the pond. "I made this place, in memory of you, it can be our new meadow...and when I found out about Harold, I hid something here..."

"What was that?" I asked, standing around impatiently.

Edward made me stay standing up as he knelt down on one knee and pulled something nestled in the blue flowers. It was a simple little black box, and I was confused.

Edward looked up at me. "Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to love you forever and even longer, will you marry me?"

My eyes widened. I looked at Edward, this meadow- _our _meadow, felt complete now that he was here. My whole family was here, as if by fate, my little nudger gently kicked my sides. Gentle enough for me not to double up in pain. Edward's eyes left me almost speechless but I had to say something.

"Yes." I whispered, caught up in the moment.

Edward grinned and opened the box to reveal a ring that was unexplainable, I was seriously speechless now. He took my hand and slid the ring up my marriage finger. Edward looked close to tears, "A perfect fit." He told me.

Edward stood and pulled me in for a very passionate kiss.

"Edward"

"Yes?"

"I love you more." I told him.

"Impossible." He said, gently pressing his marble lips to mine.

* * *

**Aw! Edward and Bella *draws love heart in the air* **

**I've decided I WILL do A sequel. Watch out for it. It'll be called "Trusting." i HAVE to do one anyway, because there are many unanswered questions. Like...what's happened to bella junior? Will Edwards and Bellas baby be a girl or boy? Will Bella become a vampire? Etc Etc. **

**I hope you've enjoyed the story ^_^ please review and let me know what you thought about it, i'll love you forever!**

**Thanks to everyone who's everrrrrrr reviewed, i didn't expect many people to be interested in the story, turns out I was wrong, that makes me happy. **

**Until we meet again, in the sequel "Trusting" loyal fans! (:**

***Runs off into the sunset*....**


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